TexZen: Where East Meets West

Congrats to Frank Lamb

2010-08-23T09:25:00.000-07:00

Glad my post helped you in your climb - Congrats to you on completing your climb of Fuji-san - It's an experience I'm sure you will never forget!

TexZen: Where East Meets West: Check out this wedding cake

2010-01-19T23:22:00.000-08:00

Political Earthquake Hits Japan

2009-09-02T07:05:00.000-07:00

This is not my story but Newt gives a good summary of what has happened in Japan in the last week....

Witnessing History in Asia
by Newt Gingrich

In Japan ... a political earthquake. Frustrated Japanese voters tossed out the party that has ruled that country virtually uninterrupted for the past half century.

After 54 years in which the LDP (Liberal Democratic Party) was in power for all but one 11-month period in the early 1990s, the combination of economic decay and corruption finally forced enough people to abandon the LDP to form the Democratic Party of Japan (DPJ) as a serious broad-based competitor.

In this election, the public was clearly eager to send a resounding signal of rejection to the entrenched LDP machine. But the final results were a bigger defeat for the LDP than anticipated.

When all the votes were counted, the DPJ and its allies had a two-thirds majority in both houses of the Japanese parliament. This will give them the opportunity to pass major changes.

There are two challenges facing the newly empowered Democratic Party of Japan, however.

The first challenge is the degree to which the DPJ is really an anti-LDP coalition. The head of the DPJ, for instance, is a grandson of the co-founder of the LDP. It’s not clear yet if the DPJ has a stable majority to implement its agenda.

The second challenge facing the new ruling party in Japan is one we also face here in the United States.

The great stabilizing force in Japanese government has been the permanent bureaucracy. Much like Sacramento, Albany, and Trenton, the key Japanese interest groups and the permanent Japanese bureaucracy combine to overwhelm the popular will as expressed through elected officials.

The LDP clearly failed to reform the bureaucracy. It will be fascinating to watch the DPJ undertake this project of institutional reform.

If they can, we may learn some lessons that can be applied to our local, state and federal government bureaucracies.

No one knows yet how this election will influence Japanese-American ties. The more likely a DPJ victory became, the more their leadership emphasized continuity and cooperation with the United States. Time will tell.

Tokyo's Narita airport installed a device to test the temperatures of passengers arriving from Mexico.

2009-04-26T09:46:00.000-07:00

Dear Readers:

I am temporarily sidelined in the USA. At least I'm not quarantined somewhere. I have come down with a virus and decided not to return to Japan until I am symptom free. With the recent surge in swine-flu cases, I'd rather not take a chance...

Coughingly yours...

What Forest Gump Should Have Said: Life is Like a Cherry Blossom

2009-04-09T08:01:00.000-07:00

Sakura, the cherry blossom, the elemental symbol of the ephemeral nature of existence... With the appearance of these flowers, the routine of all Japan comes to a halt. In every neighborhood and park one will find the Japanese sitting under these trees...eating and drinking throughout the day and late into the evening...There are lanterns strung in the branches ...and at night the blossoms glow as they reflect the light. Salary men, in their black suits and ties, and office ladies, in their skirts, enjoy picnics on blue plastic mats. The elderly, from nursing homes, are wheeled out to lunch under the cherry trees. Families and couples gather in large and small groups, to laugh and talk...As the days progress, the flowers begin to fall like snow. Children scoop up piles of the fallen petals and chase each other through the park, throwing handfuls into the air. When the wind catches the flowers, there is a snowstorm of Sakura...better than a New York City confetti parade. As I watch the petals blow high into the air, I think these pink blooms must travel round the world, to land who knows where.

Yes, life is like a cherry blossom. One day we're young and beautiful and strong. The next day we look in the mirror and say...where did that person go? Take heed and savor whatever the season of your life. Forest Gump would have appreciated the cherry blossom.

Sakura: Japanese Folk Song Celebrating the Cherry Blossom

2009-04-09T07:44:00.000-07:00

Click on the youtube link for song and photos....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKTRnO7SV68

Cherry blossoms, cherry blossoms,
On Meadow-hills and mountains
As far as you can see.
Is it a mist, or clouds?
Fragrant in the morning sun.
Cherry blossoms, cherry blossoms,
Flowers in full bloom.
Cherry blossoms, cherry blossoms,
Across the Spring sky,
As far as you can see.
Is it a mist, or clouds?
Fragrant in the air.
Come now, come,
Let’s look, at last!

Calpis and Pocari Sweat: Not what they sound like, thank goodness

2009-04-06T01:24:00.000-07:00

Automatic beverage machines are everywhere in Japan. In every machine, can be found two very popular drinks - Calpis and Pocari Sweat. Yes, I know what tastes those names conjure. Forget the names when you're drinking them and you'll be OK. Calpis does come from a cow so your first guess is sort of close. Calpis tastes like a watered down, sweetened milk product - or at least that's my best guess. Pocari Sweat is not sweat in a bottle. It seems to be an electrolyte drink for when you sweat.

If those two beverages do not appeal to you, there's the ubiquitous drink of the world, Coca Cola. I have even found some machines that carry Dr. Pepper, that favorite soft drink of Texans. The Dr. Pepper can has some very wild manga on it though. One looks like a giant monster eyeball. The other is a very curvaceous animae space woman. Nothing at all like the dull Dr. Pepper cans back home.

These machines are giving Starbucks a run for the money. You can find all sorts of cold and hot, coffee and tea in these machines. The hot drinks have a red bar under the label and the cold drinks have a blue bar. There are just about as many choices as a coffee shop for all you espresso lovers. One of the most popular is called Georgia Coffee. Do coffee beans grow in Georgia? Has global warming changed Georgia into the tropics while I've been in Japan? My best guess is that it's made by Coca Cola in Georgia? Another brand is Boss Coffee. The spokesman of Boss coffee is the American film star, Tommy Lee Jones. He is the Coffee Boss. I think it must be his drivers license picture that is all over these machines. Either that or he has not had his morning cup of Boss coffee yet. I love Tommy Lee Jones. He looks so real.

North Korean Launches Rocket Over Japan

2009-04-05T01:51:00.000-07:00

TOKYO/SEOUL (Reuters) - North Korea launched a long-range rocket over Japan on Sunday, drawing swift international condemnation and triggering an emergency meeting of the U.N. Security Council.

The reclusive state's official media said a satellite had been successfully launched and was sent into regular orbit.

U.S. President Barack Obama said in a statement that North Korea, which tested a nuclear device in 2006, had violated U.N. resolutions and increased its own isolation with what analysts believe was effectively a test of a ballistic missile designed to carry a warhead potentially as far as Alaska.

Sitting around waiting to see if the North Koreans "accidently" launch their missle over Japan

2009-04-03T08:08:00.001-07:00

I'll keep you updated....

Looking for Japanese Guys? Try the Electronics District... Or, have you always dreamed of wearing a maid's costume and waiting on nerds in a cafe?.

2009-03-31T18:26:00.000-07:00

If you have trouble controling your husband's TV remote control clicking, stay away from Akihabara. Every conceivable electronic device known to man can be found within a few square blocks. And, when the shopper gets tired of electronics, he can play video games at Sega world. It's loud and obnoxious here, with the sound from the games spilling out into the street. The Akihabara electronics district, or Akiba for short, is a guy's idea of heaven, especially if he's an Otaku. According to Wikipedia, Otaku is a Japanese term used to refer to people with obsessive interests, particularly anime, manga, and video games.

After one is finished with electronics shopping and tried all the video games, the next stop would be to buy manga, which are Japanese comics. These are more like little paperback books. I recently became obsessed with Japanese manga myself, but only because I went to see the movie "Dragonballs" which is based on the best selling manga of all time. The hero, Goku, is a cross between Karate Kid and Superman. It had the usual high school bully fight scene. Of course, Goku can't defend himself because his Japanese grandfather will not allow him to use his special fighting skills for just any old thing. I especially enjoyed the movie's glimpse into Japanese pop culture and fashion. If you go to see it, note Goku's hair that sticks straight up, in the popular young, Japanese guy hair-do.

But back to the manga store. There are manga for everyone but it seemed to me that these stores carried mainly "guy" manga. Unfortunately, while I was wandering around, lost in the six floors of Comic Toranoama, my lack of ability to read Japanese Kanji got me into trouble once again. I suddenly looked up and realized that I was the only woman, dressed in pink of course, in a labyrinth of comics... and surrounded by guys in black...black being the favorite fashion color in Tokyo. Opps, somehow, I wandered into the "X" rated comic book section. My main concern was how to squeeze through the narrow isles, between and around all these guys, without laughing hysterically at my predicament. The Japanese are soooo polite that they will pretend they don't see a person doing something silly, but of course they see EVERYTHING. Whew!!!! Made it out of there....

Next stop, the Maid Cafes. The Maid Cafes are conveniently located in the electronics district. Who is more in need of a Maid than a guy who's worn out from playing video games and trying out cool technology? The very cute Maids are decked out in very cute and authentic maid costumes. Some of the Maid Cafes even have video games and will play video games with their customers. What did I say? Sounds like guy heaven to me.

There was one other interesting cafe that I came across. It was a Cat Cafe. For 800Yen (about $9.00 US)a person can hold a cat for half an hour. This is probably where the guys leave their girlfriends and wives while they shop for electronics and manga. There were even photos of the cats that you could choose to hold.

Akihabara carries another very important product of the Japanese subculture...Animae Cosplay costumes...animae stands for animation as in Japanese animated films, video games, or manga ....cosplay is short for costume play... The stores here specialize in reproducing entire costumes so that people can dress up and pretend they are their favorite characters. You'll see a lot of these cosplay folks hanging around the parks near Harajuku Station. Obviously, these are serious Otaku.

The final purchase one needs to make at Akihabara is a plastic figurine of one's favoite animae, manga, robotic, or video characters. Some of these are huge and quite expensive. I'm trying to figure out where people keep gigantic robots or monsters in their small apartments... I even found one place that sell what look like naked Barbie dolls without their heads. That way a collector can choose the head and the hair that fit the particular character they want to display. Also, just like Barbie dolls, there are entire wardrobes for these dolls, all based upon what they wear in their movie or manga.

I certainly felt plain Jane in my black pants and pink top. I really should have bought one of those blue wigs...If you're a mom like me, you'd skip the Maid costume though. I'm trying to hide out from those Maid duties these days.

The Octagonal Fish Dinner: The fish was octagonal, not the plate

2009-03-31T17:46:00.000-07:00

Yes, fact is stranger than fiction. There is actually a fish that has 8 sides to it.

Last week, Greg and I decided to eat at our favorite Japanese "French" restaurant, Lapin D'or, which means The Gold Rabbit. For some reason, the rabbit is a popular symbol in Japan. Rabbit or no rabbit, the food is excellent! Anyway, the restaurant is down a funny little pedestrian street and always an interesting walk to get there. The restaurant is run by the chef, Koshimizu, and his waiter, Ito. They are definitely a comedic duo, with Koshimizu having all the straight lines. Their taste in music leans toward jazz ... makes a person want to sit there and drink wine for hours...guess that's the point.

Every meal is different. Koshimizu has a little black chalk board with the menu for that evening, all in Japanese of course, so we never quite know what we're going to eat. Our favorite salad is the "Greg" salad...that's how often we eat there.

Koshimizu usually surprises us with something interesting. This evening, it was the eight sided fish. It was long and thin and covered with very hard and sharp spines. The head was still on and the eyes were bulging out at us saying..."how could you!" We were stumped as to how to eat the thing. Koshimizu came to the rescue. If you turn the fish over, there is a line down the belly of the fish where the spines end. You simply slice down the line and pull the spines apart. Inside is a very delicate and tasty white fish. It takes about four fish to get a serving though. It's a pretty skinny fish.

For dessert, Koshimizu's wife had baked a homemade chocolate cake. I thought homemade cake was extinct....

Some days, I think all people do in Japan is eat. I have found that a lovely dinner or afternoon tea is an important part of the Japanese culture and now it is part of my culture. I think it is because most people are living in such small spaces. Restaurants, cafes, coffee shops - all offer a way out of the isolation of the tiny apartments.

Japanese Foods of the Week: Eggs, Waffles, Banana Flips, and Strawberry Shortcake

2009-03-26T01:54:00.000-07:00

When I came to Japan, I expected rice and sushi. I never expected eggs everywhere. Every Japanese restaurant has some version of the plain, old egg. You will find a soft boiled egg on a salad, a raw egg in a bowl to pour over your hot rice or noodles, or an over-easy fried egg plopped down on top of almost anything. At first I was a little afraid to eat them. Sometimes they are not refrigerated and the yolks are a bright orange. What I have discovered is that they are absolutely delicious. I'm assuming these are what farm-fresh eggs really taste like. In the grocery stores there are also various eggs besides chicken eggs to choose from - there are tiny spotted eggs, bright red eggs, pre-cooked eggs, and so forth. The pre-cooked eggs were a surprise for me. I thought I had a regular egg. I tried to crack one open and an entire soft-boiled egg fell out.

Waffles were another surprise. You can go into any grocery store or 7/11 and find waffles where we have the Twinkies and bakery goods. There are various flavors - chocolate waffles, waffles with a sticky honey glaze and so forth. Move over Twinkies!

The talk of Twinkies brings us to our next vintage food...the Banana Flip. I don't know whether we got the Banana Flip from the Japanese or whether they got it from the American GI's after WWII. All I can say is this. Their Banana Flip wins, hands down. The Banana Flip in the USA used to sit right next to the above mentioned Twinkies in our grocery stores. The Japanese Banana Flip sits in the refrigerated case with all sorts of rich pastries. Their Banana Flip is made of a round slice of sponge cake which is rolled around an actual banana - sort of like a banana in a tortilla made of cake. The cake and the banana are held together with real whipped cream. No cool whip here. Time to bring back the original Banana Flip...

And last, but not least, this has to be the favorite dessert in all of Japan...the strawberry shortcake. These beautiful little cakes are everywhere...and once again, they all have the rich taste of a dessert that has been made with love from the finest ingredients...no hydrogenated fats here and the strawberries in Japan are famous for their flavor.

When I get tired of eating unknown food, I just order dessert...Yum, yum, yum.

The Free Store...Or what to do with your "trash n' stuff"

2009-03-20T21:55:00.000-07:00

When a person lives in a high rise apartment, no matter how small it is, one still piles up "trash n' stuff." In fact when living in such a small space, the "trash n'stuff" seems to grow like an invasion of horrible, reeking giant mushrooms that spring up overnight...but no, those are not mushrooms...upon closer inspection it appears that they are white plastic bags full of trash for recycling.

Each apartment has "the trash room." This is where you bring your "trash n' stuff." There are elaborate posters detailing the proper method for recycling the garbage. Of course for us foreigners, it's always a big guess as to what those posters mean. Apparently, there is a common complaint in Japanese apartments regarding foreigners who don't sort the trash properly. No matter how hard we try, we can never get the right stuff in the right bucket.

We have lived in two apartments now and I can see that apartment managers have their own quirks when it comes to sorting trash. In my current apartment, Suzuki-san wants the tabs on drink cans pulled off and put into a little jar. In the last apartment, Shimizu-san wanted something else...but I could never read the sign, so I don't know what that something else was...Fortunately, they have both been very nice folks and are quite forgiving about our inability to sort out the complexities of sorting out the trash.

There is one great thing about Japanese recycling procedures...and that is THE FREE STORE !!! At least that's what we foreigners have named it. Japanese people always seem to be moving. Whenever they switch apartments, the furniture often does not fit the configuration of the new rooms.... soooooo...entire contents of an apartment might show up in the recycle area. Too bad I don't surf. There was a great surf board in the free store for months.

The other thing about Japanese apartments is that you may never hear or see your neighbors. It is hard to believe that I am living in a city of MILLIONS. These people are very, very quiet. Either that or their construction is really soundproof. Sometimes I feel like I am in one of those Twilight Zone episodes where the entire population of Tokyo has been evacuated...except that they forgot to tell me about it...so I'm the only person left in this huge high rise. I haven't even see one ant or bug or spider. I guess 12 floors up is just too high for a bug to climb.

There was one instance when we were tempted to knock on someone's door. We noticed an unsavory odor coming from an apartment near the elevator. In our minds we ticked off the possibilities....maybe they left town and forgot to take out the trash - well, when they return, they'll have to take it out because the smell will knock them over....or maybe they left town and their little doggy died - well if so, it's already dead and when they return, they'll have to deal with it....or maybe the neighbor died...I know that sounds awful, but if we are going through the entire checklist of possibilities, we have to include that one - well, if they're dead, we can't help them - so, our rationale was, if the smell gets worse after two days, we'd better call someone....of course we don't know who that someone is supposed to be. We haven't figured that out yet. We just know that for an emergency, we press the button in our apartment that looks like a campfire... or dial 119.

OK, All You Rude People Out There, Pay Attention: Or The Most Important Socio-Economic & Political Movement of the Century

2009-03-14T00:39:00.000-07:00

Today I was walking on the sidewalk that goes through the park. A group of 9 and 10 year old boys, in their jogging suits and baseball caps, were running toward me. It looked as though they were warming up for a baseball game. There was no room for them to pass on the narrow sidewalk, so I stepped aside. The boys proceeded to ALL tip their baseball caps to me and say "arrigato," which means, thank you. When was the last time anyone "tipped" their hat to me....Uh...never. Let me remind my readers that there was NO adult there to tell them to be polite...

When I moved to Tokyo, I did not expect a "peaceful" lifestyle. I expected horns honking, music booming, people using expletives in other languages. Instead, I have a very "peaceful" existence. When I come home to my little abode, the lobby and elebator (that's Japanese for elevator)are filled with wonderfully soothing music. There is generally no eye contact on the sidewalks; but, if I have occasion to ask someone a question, folks go out of their way to help. I have had people miss their train while trying to get me to my train. I have often been bumped by these very crazy looking Japanese guys...weird clothes combinations and hair sticking up everywhere, as only the great Japanese guy hair can. It is always surprising when these fellows look at me, bow and say, sorry.

A lot of very smart people have all sorts of theories about how to reform society and politics? My answer is MANNERS. Do you want to save crumbling marriages and families? The answer is MANNERS. Do you want to improve classrooms and wipe out gang behavior? MANNERS....Do you want the Democrats and Republicans in the Congress and Senate to get something accomplished? MANNERS !!!!!

There are things the Japanese could learn from us but this is one thing we need to learn from them. Manners are the oil that makes human interaction productive and pleasant. So, to put that in plain English, you @$#!X*<#! get some manners!

COMMENTS:

Anonymous said...
Manners huh? Tell that to the poor Horn Frog in the Horn Frog juice bottle!!

-Texas Horn Frog hugger

March 16, 2009 9:26 PM

laur0902 said...
I REALLY,REALLY like your posting with regard to manners...
It seems so simple - too good to be true, and yet....
Thanks!!

March 30, 2009 2:11 PM

Train Station Song Bank - As seen on howtogetevenwithirritatingpeople.com

2009-03-11T02:39:00.000-07:00

The perfect Japanese souvenir to buy for the 9 year old child of your worst enemy is the train bank that plays all the songs from the Japanese Yamanote railway line....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_jk8jsHkYc

It plays them over and over and over and over....

White Day: The Valentine's Day Pay-back

2009-03-10T19:41:00.000-07:00

On March 14, Japan celebrates White Day. White Day is the "pay-back" day for any guys who received chocolate or other gifts on Valentine's ....This is because, in Japan, Valentines is only observed by women.

There are two types of gifts given out by women on Valentine's Day:

1. Giri Choco, which is an obligatory gift for bosses and co-workers, or male friends. Women may have to buy 20 or 30 of these small boxes of candy. Fortunately, they are quite affordable. You can get a wonderful chocolate gift for only a few dollars.

2. Honmei Choco, which is the chocolate of love. This is often hand-made or more elaborate and given to the boyfriend or husband.

These chocolates put the American Valentine's candy makers to shame. Both the candy and the packaging are absolutely beautiful! They are works of art and taste fabulous. And the variety is endless.

I almost forgot to tell my dear readers "WHY" this is called White Day. I was told that initially white marshmallow candy was given as a gift. Sounds like as good a reason as any.

White Day is also celebrated in Korea where Black Day has been invented for those single folks that don't have someone to celebrate White Day with ... Black Day sounds pretty mornful but it was actually given that name because these singles go out in groups and eat together. They have white noodles with black bean sauce, thus Black Day.

In Japan, gifts are a very important part of the culture. When someone gives you a gift, it "obliges" the receiver to reciprocate. And the return gift has to be "sanbai gaeshi" which means "thrice the return." What that means is that those poor guys that got some chocolates have to come up with a better gift on White Day than they received on Valentine's....and it should be about three times more expensive. I'm thinking of giving Greg a $15,000 box of bon bons. I've got my eye on a new car...

Sounds of Tokyo...The Doo Dah Station

2009-03-02T00:43:00.000-08:00

As mentioned previously, each train/subway station has it's own "song." That makes it easy to know where you are, even when you can't read the signs. I've just discovered the song at Tachiaigawa Station....It's the old Southern classic, Camp Town Race Track.

Camp Town Race Track five miles long....Doo Dah...Doo Dah
Camp Town Race Track five miles long...All the Doo Dah day...

Gonna run all night, gonna run all day
I bet my money on the bob tail nag, somebody bet on the bay

This is so weird...I never ever expected to be in Japan and have the "Doo Dah" song stuck in my head all day..... Help, Help !!!!

New Apartment Technology or Cookin' with Magnets....Could this replace Dr. Phil?

2009-03-02T00:05:00.000-08:00

I spent the first week in my apartment in the usual way...Unable to work the Japanese buttons that control everything...

...I was unable to figure out how to turn the heat on so I had to pile on the blankets and wear a bunch of clothes to bed.

...Then I had to figure out the doo-dads on my new toilet...Wow, this one has a nice warm "wind" to dry off your backside...

...The cooktop was the real mystery though...It is one of those flat surfaces that, one assumes, has an electrical coil built in. I was able to get a light to turn on, but when I would put my hand over the cooking area, it would never heat up. I became convinced that, because this is a new apartment building, the electrics needed to be connected. Finally, I talked our apartment locator, Tavis, into dropping by - so that he could translate for me and tell our apartment manager to send a repairman. When Tavis showed up, he examined it. Apparently, my cooktop is "magnetic."

This is the ultimate in yin/yang technology. What it means is that it ONLY heats up when the proper pan is put on top of the cooking area ...and actually, it is ONLY the pan that heats up. (Too bad they can't figure out a way to adapt this technology to the human relationship. Can you imagine husbands and wives only heating up when they comes into contact with each other? Of course that might mean no more Dr. Phil and a lot more boring daytime television.)

But, back to the "magnetic" cooktop. The pan itself heats VERY quickly. This is the fastest boiling water that I've ever seen. I have done a few fire starter experiments. While my pot is boiling, I put a paper towel at the base of the pan near the cooking coil. It would have burst into flames with gas or electric, but it is barely warm with this cooktop - and I never did get it to catch on fire. Personally, this is a great relief. I live on the 12th floor and I'm happy to know that it will be difficult to start a kitchen fire.

There are a few other features of Japanese apartments that are worth noting. The newer apartments have very strict earthquake building codes. This building is not even a year old. So far I have been unable to feel any earthquakes here.

Also, if there is a fire, a person can go out onto their balcony. There is a rather flimsy screen between the balcony of each apartment. They are built flimsy for a reason. To escape a fire, one can knock down the neighboring screen and escape to other parts of the building. Also underneath the balcony flooring there are often trapdoors that allow a person to escape to lower floors.

And then, we just made a new discovery. Our inside doorlocks glow in the dark. I guess that is so a person can find his way around if there is no electricity.

PS - Regarding the magnetic cooktop - I have just heard from a friend who has one in Austin, TX.....I'll bet his does not have indeciperable Japanese operation instructions though...

Apartment Ceremonies Lead to TCU Horned Frog Ransom Project

2009-02-25T20:35:00.000-08:00

We have just moved to another apartment. To do that, we had to have a "closing ceremony" with the old apartment managers... to decide how much of a cleaning fee we have to pay. The Japanese are meticulous about cleanliness. I decided that there was NO WAY they were going to find a spec of dirt in our apartment...and they didn't. The shock on their faces was worth every scrub. They even ask me what brand of cleaning solution I used on the floor. I imagine I was the first Westerner in the history of US/Japanese political relations to avoid paying a cleaning fee. I loved all those bows I got for my clean apartment. I really wish my family would bow when I clean the house. In fact, I want two bows if I cook dinner.

When a lease is signed for a new apartment, there is also a "signing ceremony." We were served a cup of tea at the beginning and a cup of tea at the end. Then we took our Australian property locater out for lunch. We ended up at a nearby Chinese restaurant...which is right across from the "love" hotel (more about "love" hotels later).

The special that this restaurant serves is the "sword" cut noodle....available on Sundays only....you can tell a "sword" cut noodle from a regular noodle because the "sword" cut noodle is all ragged on the edges - kind of like it's been hacked to death by a Samurai who had a hangover from Saturday night. The noodles were delicious...but then....I looked at the gallon bottle on display near my table...It was filled with a beautiful, golden liquid... along with what looked like a flattened Texas road-kill, horny-toad floating in it. OK, I thought, maybe it's part of someone's kinky global warming project... The giveaway was the spigot. For a price, you can imbibe in horned-frog liquor. Well, if you're from Texas, you know that the Horned Frog, or Horny Toad as it's known to the locals, is the mascot of Texas Christian University. This is a huge deal!!! I am therefore putting together a "ransom fund" to free the little guy. Please send your cash to my paypal account. When I get enough money together, I'll change my name and head for the Bahamas ... opps, I mean I'll fly him back to Texas and release him to the biology department at TCU.

Back by Popular Demand...The TexZen meets Tokyo

2009-02-25T20:18:00.000-08:00

Sorry to all my faithful readers...I have been in a meditative Zen state for the last few months...wondering about the sound of one hand clapping...actually, I have been in the process of moving to a new apartment.....

Speaking of Apologies

2008-12-13T19:48:00.001-08:00

My husband, Greg, lost his flight wings for his uniform. For him to get a new set, he had to write an apology to the company. They even had an apology form for him to fill out...

And then, there is my girlfriend who has had to sign, not one, but two, apologies for improper re-entry into Japan.

I really like the idea of written apologies. I have decided that I am going to type up "apology letters" for all of my family and friends to sign. It's really quite a good idea. That way folks can understand EXACTLY what I am mad about. No more guessing ... Did I forget her birthday? ... Is it our anniversary? ... Should I have had that last glass of wine?...

I think I see a dot.com start-up in all this ... www.apologies.com

DO NOT DISTURB OTHER PEOPLE SIGNS ON THE SUBWAY

2008-09-12T18:23:00.001-07:00

"Masterpiece just becomes noise disturbance when heard without earphones."

"I silently hold my breath when I pass someone smoking."

NINE MINUTE TOUR OF JAPAN

2008-08-25T05:34:00.000-07:00

http://jp.youtube.com/watch?v=1_P4OvsW5mg&feature=related

The background music to this nine minute tour of Japan is Sakura, the very famous traditional Japanese song....if it gets stuck in the middle of the song, just move the "dot" a little....enjoy

Monkey Business in Shinjuku Station

2008-08-22T03:47:00.000-07:00

http://jp.youtube.com/watch?v=yx8Yi0VCYWE&feature=related

THE CONQUEST OF FUJI-SAN....or, who forgot to call the Sherpas???

2008-07-24T14:56:00.000-07:00

Don’t believe everything you read on the internet….I know that I’ve learned my lesson. All of those stories featuring hordes of grandmothers, small children, and women in 4 inch high heels summiting Mt. Fuji are definitely urban legends… and, depending upon where you start your climb, four hours is not a realistic climb time. When we finally reached the crest, the “clothes de jour” were hiking boots and warm REI-type duds….It was very windy, wet, and cold, but needless to say, the exhilaration of being THERE, ON THE TOP OF MT. FUJI is an experience I will not ever forget. I recommend the experience very highly. I also have a few other recommendations if you want to survive and enjoy the climb.

Suggested requirements are:

1. Experienced mountain guide company (we used Fuji Mountain Guides www.fujimountainguides.com ). There were only 8 of us including our guide versus the HUGE tour groups that we pass on the way to the top. I don’t know how they can ever keep track of their people. For them, it has to be a bit like a kindergarten field trip – always counting their hikers and wondering if anyone is left in the bathroom.

2. Young, handsome, Japanese-speaking, American climbing guide that knows how to strike “epic” mountain guide poses - and is in such good shape that he can not only carry his own pack, but that of some un-named hiker. His motto covers it all: “Look good, and make sure you know where your people are.” He certainly does that. In addition, he is a superlative entertainer and provides us with the Mt. Fuji lore and legends along the way.

3. Proper gear. No high heels, no flip flops, no jeans. This is about comfort. The better your equipment, the more comfortable you will be. Yes, you may balk at buying hiking boots, rain gear, and a comfortable back pack but you will not regret it. Also, bring at least $100 (in Japanese Yen). The amenities get pricier as the altitude increases.

4. Train for the hike. Yes there are thousands of people that climb Mt. Fuji each summer but it is definitely not a walk in the park. Train for the “going down” part, not just the “going up” part. Be prepared for the possibility of altitude sickness. Canisters of oxygen are on sale at the base of the mountain…and bring ibuprofen. Keep properly hydrated and have some sort of electrolyte replacing drinks along the way.

………but now, let’s get to the nitty gritty details of the climb….

THE RENDEZVOUS:

It is 6:00 AM and I find myself sitting in the lobby of the fabulous Keio Plaza Hotel near Shinjuku Station feeling completely “out of costume.” I look as if I am starring in the movie “Heidi Does Tokyo.” It is easy to spot the other “mentally unstable,” excuse me, I mean “intrepid,” hikers that will join me for this grand adventure. They are not yodeling but they have that mountaineering look. They are, as follows:

Patty, from Seattle, WA, who was also my college room-mate. She climbed Mt. Ranier 25 years ago. She should know better.

Anne and Audrey, my neighbors from Austin, TX. They are obviously in the midst of a mid-life crisis and trying to threaten their husbands and children ….”If things don’t change around here, well, I’m doing something drastic…I’ll go climb Mt. Fuji.”

Jodie and Shelly from Australia. They are on a mother/daughter bonding expedition. Yes, tribulation does create closeness. The best part of their plan is the weekend at the Japanese hot springs that follows the climb.

Paul, a Chinese fellow from Australia, who left his wife shopping in Tokyo while he climbs. It would strike fear in the hearts of most husbands to leave their wives shopping for an afternoon in Tokyo, much less two days. As it turns out, this was only a small measure of Paul’s “true grit” for he is the only male in our group - except for our guide....Does he deserve an award or what !!??

Brent, our professionally trained mountain guide, a young man in his twenties and a student at the University of Colorado in Boulder. Brent is the product of American missionaries. He grew up in Japan and is fluent in the language and customs. He is quite popular with the locals that are working in the mountain huts…and he has the savoir faire to handle our motley group of hikers.

THE TRAIN & BUS RIDE UP:

The ride to Gotemba, on one of those wonderfully comfortable Japanese trains, charged our emotional batteries for the coming climb…. On the train we could buy yummy bento boxes and a variety of drinks. Wow, this is great isn’t it??? From Gotemba, we climbed onto a bus for our starting point at the head of the Subashiri trail.

The Subashiri route is a less used path, traditionally taken by Japanese only – probably because all the signs are in Japanese? This enabled us to avoid the huge crowds found on the other routes.

THE BEGINNING: WALK SOFTLY, CARRYING A BIG STICK... AND EATING MUSHROOM SOUP

In the ever hospitable manner of the Japanese, we were greeted at the starting point of our climb by a little old woman that bowed and handed us cups of tasty mushroom broth. This was also where we bought our oxygen canisters. You folks that are used to living at higher altitudes may scoff at the use of oxygen, but remember, Tokyo is at sea level. The change in altitude can be a problem. Then we bought our “sticks.” For a small fee, one buys a walking stick with a bell tied at the top. Of course after about two hours of listening to those ringing bells, we are smiling insanely and stomping them to pieces….actually, there are shrines along the way… leaving a bell at a shrine allows one to avoid the insane stomping bit.

But back to the original purpose of the sticks….they are great hiking aids - but they are also your climb “record keeper.” At each rest station along the climb, the hiker has a brand burned into the stick to prove that they have actually reached that particular altitude of the climb. I buy two sticks, because I have two daughters, and besides I figure I can use the extra help…..Maybe I will give each of my daughters their stick when they have their first child…. I’m not sure they will appreciate the symbolism until then.

"FIGHT - DON'T GIVE UP" ... AND THROUGH THE TORII GATE:

Before any important endeavor, the very Japanese thing to do is to cheer one’s comrades on. We begin our hike with a shout of “Gumbaruzo!” (Fight- Don’t give up!) and answer with a cry of “Oooooh!” In Wizard of Oz style, we then follow the brick road to step through a Torii gate. I love the idea of the Torii gates. They are found at all Shinto shrines and are used for cleansing the spirit. There is a final Torii gate at the top of the mountain and, therefore, the climb of Fuji is really considered a spiritual pilgrimage. If that’s not spiritual enough for you, I imagine most folks invoke the mercy of God Almighty somewhere along the way.

AOKIGAHARA: THE HAUNTED OCEAN OF TREES

The first hours of our walk take us through an ancient forest. It felt a bit surreal, like one of those fairy tales where the travelers follow the path through the woods, only to be lost forever. Unfortunately, this is very close to the truth. If we would have been in a movie, this would have been where the sinister soundtrack would have begun to play.
In Japanese, the loosely translated name of the forest, Aokigahara, means “Ocean of Trees.” It is the prime spot for folks that want to “end it all.” They simply walk into the woods, never to be seen again. In addition to the legends of hauntings by Youkai (Japanese versions of monsters and ghosts), the magnetic iron deposits underground are rumored to cause compasses to spin wildly leaving travelers hopelessly lost. There is an annual search of the area for the bodies of suicide victims as well as the lost. In 2002, 78 bodies were found in the forest, beating out the previous record of 73 in 1998. Officials have also placed signs throughout the area urging potential suicide victims to seek help rather than end their lives. The bad part is, if they identify the body, a fine may be levied upon their family. Obviously, the area also draws a number of thrill seekers who leave “Hansel and Gretel” type trails of tape throughout the forest so that they can find their way back out. There is even a 2004 movie about the forest, called Jyukai – The Sea of Trees Behind Mt. Fuji (English Title). Sounds like a Halloween classic to me.

THE FIRST REST STOP

Making it to the first rest stop feels like quite an accomplishment. We have our sticks branded, and, we can buy water and snacks….and most importantly, we can pay 100 Yen to use the restroom. As we get higher in elevation, the prices of the amenities also go up, thus my recommendation to bring $$ along.

SPEAKING OF REST:

Our guide Brent taught us a great hiking tip, the Rest Step. This involves taking the easiest route up the mountain, not the most direct route. Zigzagging and small steps are easier on the legs. It is also advisable to completely straighten and lock the leg after each step. This gives relief to the part of the legs that are doing the step-up. I loved the Rest Step. In fact, “rest” soon becomes my favorite word. As we get higher and higher, I begin having flashbacks of my ancestors that had to travel over the American plains in wagon trains, and had to cross the Rocky Mountains on foot, and had to chase the buffalo, and had to tote that barge, and carry that water, and hoe that row and, because they did all of that, I could be here at this moment putting one foot in front of the other, trying to see if we in the computer age have retained some semblance of their toughness. I don't imagine they had little stores along the way selling bottles of beer for 735 Yen...

The only excitement to be had at the Rest of the Rest Stops is Jodie’s blister… and it is a big one. Brent, ever the competent guide, takes care of it with expertise. A blister under these circumstances can be very, very bad.

BUDDHIST HELL:

After the Sea of Trees, the terrain becomes volcanic – steep sides, very rocky and dusty with an occasional plant hanging on here and there. There are shrines along the way to commemorate some who have died on our trail. In winter, Mt. Fuji becomes quite treacherous. The snow you see on all those Mt. Fuji postcards is actually a sheet of ice. That’s why the safe climbing season is limited to July and August.

The sound track for this part of the movie would have to be those Buddhist monks that chant in very deep tones, and of course the chant goes on monotonously forever and ever. There are clouds above and below us so that it appears we are going nowhere and progress is an illusion.
Brent, cheers us on – “Only 20 more minutes to the next rest stop.” Of course by then, we know he is lying….only kidding Brent…. To distract us, Brent tells about the famous painting of Buddhist Hell. Ironically, it looks just like where we are, a rocky trail winding ever upward through the clouds, with no way down and no way up. I vaguely wonder if I will reach Enlightenment on this pilgrimage to Mt. Fuji, but mainly I wonder if I will make it to the next pay toilet. Maybe that is Enlightenment….recognizing that we are mostly ruled by the Tyranny of the Urgent.

THE GREAT SHADOW OF MT. FUJI OVER THE FUJI-SAN HOTEL:

As the day comes to an end, the sun passes behind Fuji and we see the looming shadow of the top of the mountain. This is the hardest part of the climb for me. Someone with no sense of humor has built a series of very steep stone steps up to the Fuji-san Hotel. But, at least my cell phone works here. I call my husband to see if he’s collected my life insurance money yet. We’ll have a hot meal here and a few hours of sleep before waking at 1:30 AM to make the rush for the top, to beat the sunrise.

Brent fixes us a warm and tasty meal. I think it is rice and curry? Sorry Brent, my brain was gone by then. The sleeping quarters are interesting to say the least. They involve a room with platforms above and below. Let’s just call them giant “bunk beds.” On these bunk beds are laid out lovely sleeping bags and pillows, arranged together like sardines in a can – well they looked lovely to me then. We are put in a bunk that is supposed to hold 10 hikers. What a lucky break, there are only 8 of us. I’m trying to figure out where the other 2 would have fit. It is a bit like that childhood song of the “10 monkeys” in the bed – where they all roll over and one falls out.

It is at this rest station that many of the trails converge. We’ve not seen more than 10 other hikers all day but as the night passes we begin to hear some of those 10,000 people a day that try to climb Fuji. In other words, I don’t think we sleep a wink. Meanwhile most of the women in our group are suffering from altitude sickness or knee problems. It is determined that three of our group will stay at the Fuji-san hotel and wait for the rest of us to return from the top.

LITTLE LIGHTS EVERYWHERE ... AND THROUGH THE FINAL TORII GATE:
Outside is an eerie sight. There is a full moon partially obscured by drifting clouds. I have never walked through clouds before. The drops of moisture fly around my face. As the light from my headlamp reflects on the floating drops of water, it makes a bit of an optical illusion. There are people everywhere with head lamps – so we see little dots of light creeping in lines toward the top of Fuji. It is windy and very cold - and I am glad that it is too dark to see what is below me….I’m also glad I don’t find out till later that many people who die on Fuji are blown off the mountain by the strong winds.

I have little memory of the last push, except for passing through the final Torii gate. Halleluiah! I’m cleansed now! It seems quite easy but I’m sure we are buoyed by the exhilaration of reaching the final station.

The sunrise is breathtaking. Brent gets the final brand on our sticks and mails postcards for us…yes, there is a Mt. Fuji post office. We have a wonderful breakfast of noodles and chat with fellow climbers. I spoke with a Japanese woman from Nagoya. This was her third try. She said her other girlfriends had not made it to the top. Ignorance is bliss….I just assumed that I would finish the climb. The final task is souvenir shopping. I love the Japanese attitude toward shopping – wherever you are, there’s something wonderful to buy. I decide small is better, since I will have to carry it down. I buy a commemorative key ring. As it turns out, that was a smart decision. Down turned out to be the hardest part of the climb for me …..

SKIING DOWN THE MOUNTAIN IN MY BOOTS ON VOLCANIC DUST ... WORSE THAN BUDDHIST HELL ... OR THE THREE STOOGES MEET FUJI-SAN:

OK. I’ll just give it to you straight. This part of the hike is not good for me. It is worse than Buddhist Hell. It is probably more like Catholic Hell.
I had broken my ankle the year before by rolling on rocky terrain. Therefore, I get VERY freaked out by this down movement (That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.) Although, when I am not freaked out, it is sort of fun and a bit like walking on clouds.
We are basically skiing through fine volcanic dust. The rest of my group seems to find the rhythm of it – and we even see some Japanese men RUNNING straight down the mountain –but, unfortunately, my legs don’t get it. There is another problem toward the bottom…I find my muscles have said "enough!". I am in no pain, but they just turn to jelly. I realize later that I did not drink my water and I did not drink my electrolyte powder as instructed. They are still in my pack when I reach the bottom. Consequently, the last hours are a monumental struggle. Sorry to my fellow hikers for any delay. We could have gotten to that McDonalds hamburger a half hour earlier, had my nerve not failed me. This is where having the right guide helps. I will never forget Brent’s mantra of “Slow and Steady Wins the Race,” but mostly I’m glad he takes my pack for the last part of the slide down. I am ready to throw it over the edge of the mountain and go down on my bum. Our other savior is Paul. We all begin having varing degrees of the “legs no workie” problem and Paul helps Patty down….after she, Anne, and Audrey trip on each other – or some such scenario. We are not exactly in the same league as the "Three Stooges" but close. I’m assuming that Jodie and Shelley now have a bonding experience to pass down through the generations of their family.

My last vivid memory of the climb is the look of fear on the faces of those hikers who are just starting up the mountain. As they pass us we are laughing hysterically, trying to keep from yelling “Turn Back, Turn Back While You Can!” And suddenly it all ends in a very civilized manner….with another cup of mushroom tea and a bow from the old woman to us, the pilgrims of Fuji-san.

Congratulations to my fellow climbers and my thanks to our guide, Brent. I have to say there was not a “whinger” among the group – I believe that’s Aussie for “whiner.”

GUMBARUZO !!!

Mt. Fuji Climb Update

2008-07-06T19:24:00.000-07:00

The Mt. Fuji climb date is fast approaching....July 17 & 18

There will be a total of four(4)climbers representing the TexZen Blogsite. They are as follows:

Patty, my college room-mate, from Seattle, Wa. Patty is the only experienced climber in the group. She climbed Mt. Ranier about 30 years ago....she ought to know better.

Anne from Houston, Tx. Anne is a former neighbor. She was a nurse 30 years ago. We hope she will not need to bind our wounds. Anne has four kids and is therefore calm in all situations.

Audrey, another neighbor, from Austin, Tx...formerly from Chicago and first generation Lithuanian-American...we are trying to be politically correct and allow someone without a Texas accent to climb with us. Audrey will be providing the Texas flag for the photo shoot.

Barbara, the TexZen blogger...I hope my name is not mud when this is all over with.....I'm in charge of logistics and peanut butter sandwiches. I plan on bringing up the rear.

We will be leaving on a bus from Shinjuku Station...one of the busiest and wildest intersections in the world. This whole Fuji-san things is obviously some sort of mid-life crisis - I think my kids were hoping I would buy a red sports car instead.

Three things worse things than turning 50: Having a robot carry you around, having your waist measured at work, and being a Sumo Wrestler

2008-06-27T23:50:00.000-07:00

The Japanese are one of the longest lived groups of people in the world. The Japanese men typically live a few years less than their wives - the men say that is because they have to live with Japanese women. Men everywhere probably say the same thing. The Japanese are also having fewer children and there is already a shortage of younger people to care for the aging population.

Several things are being done to address the declining population issue...the robotics industry in Japan is developing robots to care for the elderly and new health initiatives are being launched by the government.

In addition, in an attempt to head off age related disorders and keep the older folks self-sufficient, Japanese employers are now measuring the waistlines of their employees. If the employee's waistline is outside of the accepted parameters, the employer (not the employee) can be fined by the government. Talk about pressure on the job! Even though, as far as I can tell, Japan is the land of the skinny, this still causes distress among workers. It probably explains the products that I see for sale in the pharmacy. There are all sorts of Jack Lalaine era "waistline reducing" sweat belts. There are also all sorts of herbal remedies which show the before and after waistline on the package. And, I just received a great brochure in the mail for a spa which seems to connect electrical devices to the waistline to zap the fat off. I think I'll try that one out.....

Now for the dichotomy. In Japanese society, if you happen to be a Sumo wrestler, you get to have a VERY big waistline...and a lot of status to go with it. Sumo wrestling matches take place during certain weeks of the year. They are busy eating and training during the rest of the year. It takes a lot of eating to maintain Sumo Size! I've been busy trying out all the food over here myself so I can identify with them.

A few weeks ago, I really needed someone to make me feel skinny for a change - who better than a Sumo wrestler!!! I had never been to Kokugikan, the Sumo wrestling ring, and wasn't quite sure how to find it. I took a train part way and then a taxi the rest of the way. The taxi driver immediately began asking about my favorite wrestlers...his was a European fellow called Baruto He also pointed out the restaurants where the wrestlers were chowing down before the matches.....

Ticket sales for the peons like me begin early in the morning. They have to be bought on site so it's first come, first serve. Of course I bought my ticket and went on in - not knowing that most people don't show up till later in the day when the top wrestlers begin their matches. But the good thing about being ignorant is that it gives one lots of room for being nosy and, if a person stumbles into the wrong place, they can just act dumb...so I decided to stumble around for a while....

The wrestling ring is set up like a square stadium with seats rising on all sides. The ring itself has a fancy canopy over the top with four giant tassels hanging in each of the four corners. The four corners depict the four directions ... and later during the matches the referee would refer to the winner by singing out the side he was standing on - Higashi (East) wins!!!

The best seats in the house are on the lower level, around the ring. This was one time when I was very glad to be in the upper level of "bad" seats. I had a nice comfortable, cushioned movie theater chair. The "good" seats were Japanese style - which means a cushion on the floor with no back. There were four cushions to a box -a box meaning four cushions surrounded by a little metal railing. Everyone in those seats had to sit "Indian-style" for hours. There is no room to stretch out your legs - just watching them made my knees hurt. They did get all sorts of perks - like drinks and food and bags of gifts - but it seemed to me that all that stuff gave them even less room for sitting.

Another bad thing about those "good" seats was that, once the wrestling started, a person could get squashed flat by flying Sumo wrestlers. The ring is slightly elevated and those 500 pounds guys would get thrown off into the crowd on a regular basis.

The first wrestlers up were the rookies. Only their mothers, girl friends, and buddies were there to cheer them on....but it did give me a chance to see, close up, what this was all about.

When a match starts, the two wrestlers climb up into the ring. They throw salt around to purify the ring. Of course, everyone has their special "salt-throwing" technique ... and there's always a salt-throwing show-off. Then they do some elaborate stomping exercises to squash any bad spirits. There are no bad spirits left after a Sumo stomps. In fact, there's nothing left after a Sumo stomps. The third ritual is to sip water. That is for purifying their bodies. All of these preparations build up to what is usually a very brief match. The two wrestlers charge each other like bulls. It becomes quickly apparent why they've got all that extra blubber. It protects their organs from the ferocious tackles. Once they engage, it is quite apparent that the Sumo wrestler is not all fat. Their legs are absolutely HUGE muscles. Their leg muscles are so huge that they are not able to walk like a regular person. They have one of those bow-legged, gun-fighter type waddles. Anyway, in under a minute, one of these giants has tossed or pushed the other down or out of the ring. I thought it would be quite boring but I found myself screaming along with everyone else.

SUMO FASHION SENSE

Sumo wrestlers have all sorts of perks. They have their own hairdressers to make sure their "topknots" are just so. They also get to wear really fancy "aprons" during their ceremonial entrances and exits. These aprons cost at least 2 million yen each - that's about $20,000 in US dollars. That price does not include the cost of the diamonds, pearls and other precious gems that are embroidered into the fabric with gold and silver thread. I LOVE the aprons. The designs and symbols are all quite colorful and wild. They range from attacking tigers to giant flowers, to tsunami waves.

The judges for the bouts sit on all four sides of the ring. They are dressed in basic black outfits....the male version of the kimono. My favorite person was the referee type person who introduced the wrestlers and helped to sing out the winner. These guys had fabulous silk outfits and great fans...by fans I don't mean spectators, I mean "fan your face when you're hot" fans. The fabric of their outfits had wild, huge geometric patterns, lots of giant polka-dots. These guys really belonged on a fashion runway. I want clothes out of their fabrics....someone, somewhere needs to design a line of clothes styled after the Sumo Season.

HOW DOES A SUMO WRESTLER GET FAT ON SOUP? ..... AND WATCH OUT FOR THE BEANS

When the crowds were not watching the wrestling bouts, they could sample the genuine Sumo Chanko soup. I decided it was a lunch that I could not pass up. Everyone sat together on long tables with metal chairs...just like in your old high school cafeteria. Each person received a bowl of the traditional stew eaten by the Sumo to build strength. Basically, it was a cabbage, vegetable soup with a small fatty piece of pork or chicken with skin. It was delicious. After that, if you're still hungry, there are stalls selling Sumo shaped chocolates... or bean-jam filled wafers shaped like the referee's fan....While we're talking about bean-jam, be warned. A lot of the dishes in Japan that look like they have chocolate in them actually are made with beans...those chocolate looking things in your ice cream are often beans ....

Tropical Fruit Named After a Jewish Guy and Identification of Our Last Weird Food

2008-06-04T19:21:00.000-07:00

This little white fruit in the brown shell is called a "Mangosteen, The Queen of Fruit." I am not sure why it is called "The Queen of Fruit." It was Queen Victoria'a favorite fruit. I'm sorry Victoria, I think it is really scary looking and I had a very hard time putting it in my mouth. It is pale and white and fleshy feeling. In fact, it felt like eating an alien life form. It has a rather tart but sweet taste, a bit like an orange combined with a peach but maybe an orange and peach from Mars.....It comes inside a very hard, brown shell. It grows on a tropical evergreen tree, believed to have originated in the Sunda Islands and the Moluccas. The Moluccas are where all the pirates are these days. Maybe they became pirates because they were forced to eat Mangosteens.

Apparently it is an abundant source of xanthones. For those of you who don't know what xanthones are: "Xanthones are some of the most potent antioxidants known. They are thought to be more potent than both Vitamin C and Vitamin E." I'm sure you can buy it on the internet....and if it is in pill form, it's got to be a lot easier to swallow.

IDENTIFICATION OF OUR LAST WEIRD FOOD:

One of our "Anonymous" readers correctly guessed that our bean was a Fava Bean. Yes, our giant bean is in the fava bean family. It is called the Nintoku Giant Bean. This Big Bean is extremely high in nutrients, including protein, iron and potassium and the best part is, you only have to eat one bean...parents, this would be an easier sell to your kids...5 peas rolling around on their plates or one bean .....

Weird Food of the Week: The Big Bean

2008-05-25T05:32:00.001-07:00

I felt a bit like Jack in the Beanstalk when I came home with this bean...at least I didn't trade it for the family cow...I was not sure how to cook it; but, finally took the giant beans out of the shell and sauteed them with garlic. They tasted a bit like a lima bean and for the first time in my life, I was full after only one bean.

Three Black Boats: The Poignancy of Speaking Without Words

2008-05-21T03:54:00.000-07:00

For centuries, the island nation of Japan was insulated from the outside world. On July 8,1853 four black ships commanded by Commodore Perry, anchored at Edo (Tokyo) Bay, thus opening Japan's door to the foreigners beyond the sea. The "black boats" still sail into Tokyo harbor today ... but, instead, they are "human boats" ... they are us, the foreigners who manage to stumble our way around Japan like deaf/mutes ... unable to understand or speak the language but still speaking all the same.

When I was asked by a friend about how I spend my time in Tokyo, I replied that it often consists of wandering around, while not being able to speak to anyone for days at a time. Their reply was that it sounds very lonely ... sometimes "yes" that is so, and sometimes "no" that is not so ... In some way, not speaking has made communication more meaningful. What follows are three modern "black boat" encounters. These brief events are moments when you know that something important has been said, albeit without words. Only later, in the afterlife, will we be able to see how these moments have rippled through the lives of the "black boats" and those that met them.

BOAT #1 Greg, the Pied Piper, meets the Track Coach, and the School Children

If you know my husband, Greg, you know that no matter where he is, he will find the local school track to get his daily workout. He had a layover in a remote Japanese city. When he arrived at the track, a male and female coach had lined the students up at both ends and were racing them two at a time, from one end of the field to the other. The students would line up with the female coach and run to the other end where the male coach was timing the run. As Greg jogged by, the students began to yell "Hel-lo" followed by "Bye, bye." Greg returned their greeting. This started a bit of an echo chamber as the students replied again with "Hel-lo" and "Bye-bye." Greg continued his workout and the students continued their racing. When the last two students had finished, Greg jogged up to the female track coach and gesticulated that now it was time for the two of them to race. She accepted the challenge, with the students cheering wildly, of course. They ran neck and neck. She won, just barely, due to Greg's sense of diplomacy and charm - in other words, he let her win. The students went crazy... they ran out to meet the two runners and swarmmed all over Greg shouting, "What's your name, where are you from, how old are you, what is your name, my name is...." Imagine Greg being surrounded by jumping beans and you will have an idea of the scenario. Little hands shot out from all directions as the students competed for his attention and a Western handshake. Meanwhile Greg attempted to answer their questions... "I'm from America, my name is Greg, I'm old, come to see me in America." It was all quite out of control, but yet so joyful. The teacher followed Greg, the Pied Piper of the Track, and his crowd of students, smiling as Greg repeated over and over "Sumimasen" (Excuse me, I'm sorry)for disrupting the class... but I think no one was sorry ... especially for the touching exuberance of the children ... "Hen na gaijin," come again ... "crazy foreigner," come again !?

Boat # 2 Edu, the Brazilian Boat

Edu is our Brazilian pilot friend. His wife is expecting their first child. If you know Brazilians, you know they are the most charming and expressive people that you will ever meet ... quite the opposite of the Japanese who, while just as charming, have perfected the art of self-control and the hidden face. Edu was sitting and eating lunch at a nearby shopping area, and noticed a woman with a child. The child was in a stroller and was disabled in some way. The mother's dedication and patience in caring for the child was quite touching. It was very crowded and there were no chairs so Edu gave the woman his table. I believe this can be an uncommon event in Japan. Sometimes it seems that when there are so many people, we do not see them quite so well and miss their needs. Later, as Edu finished his sandwich elsewhere, the woman with the child approached him. She handed him a cup containing a special blend of coffee - to thank him for his kindness. Looking into her eyes, he saw a depth of appreciation and emotion he had not expected. He was brought to tears, which in turn affected the woman even more. Until then, he had not thought of the impact of his small act. In a foreign country small acts of kindness can become very powerful words.

Black Boat #3 A silly moment and a bow at the baseball field

Baseball is very popular in Japan. Every neighborhood has it's local teams. While walking past the baseball field, I saw the batter hit a fowl ball that popped up over the high wire fence and into the bushes at my feet. I managed to locate the ball. By that time, the catcher was outside the gate, rummaging around through the flowers trying to locate the ball. With a quick yell, I tossed it to him. The team laughed. I laughed. They shouted "arrigato gozimus - thanks," and bowed to me. There's something about a bow - when someone bows to you, you feel honored. The physical act of bowing is so much louder than words...."black boats" are changed by their encounters also. I am different now for having lived in Japan.

Black Boat # 4 Still to come???? Maybe tomorrow you will be a black boat somewhere???

Pet Peeves

2008-05-13T05:41:00.000-07:00

TO PET OWNERS: PLEASE DO NOT LET YOUR PETS PEE IN THE ELEVATOR. IT CAUSES OUR RESIDENTS GREAT INCONVENIENCE. STRICT DISCIPLINE FOR YOUR PET IS NEEDED....

The PEE problem ....people here LOVE their dogs. There are more dogs than children here. The dogs tend to be the teeny, tiny breeds that are soooo cute but very yippy. They dress them in all sorts of fabulous outfits ... But, these dogs still need to be dogs. They need a place to pee. They sometimes don't want to wait for their masters and mistresses to carry them across the street to the park. In fact, they will lift their legs to relieve themselves just about anywhere ... We have signs like the above calling for "strict discipline," but unfortunately, the dogs can't read ... so liter bottles of water are put everywhere and tied around any potential pole or potty spot. Apparently, the dogs do not like to mark the areas where the bottles of water are stacked ... I'm not sure I understand that one...

I read an article about a man who made a fortune doing dog artwork or I should say "outsourcing" dog artwork. He would take a photo of the dog, send it off to China and in about two weeks, he would have a great dog picture to deliver to his clients.... wish I'd thought of that...

Mt. Fuji Climb Update

2008-03-31T21:54:00.000-07:00

The Mt. Fuji Climb is set for July 17 & 18 with American guides. We will go by bus up to the 10th Station, then climb for a while, then attempt to sleep on a mat in a hut with about 50 other people, then get up in the middle of the night to finish the climb so that we are on the top at sunrise, then take photos with the Texas flag, then go back down, then catch the bus back to Tokyo. The guide is actually the brother of a pilot from Colorado who has just been hired by the Japanese.... I have already told him that I am a very slow climber. He said, "No problem." I hope those are not the famous last words. Just in case, I will be bringing my SCENAR (Ukranian Star Trek Healing Device) to care for my joints along the way.

For climb details, go to the following website...

http://www.fujimountainguides.com/cgi-bin/FMG?Page_Factory=2day&extend=schedulequick

Name That Tune

2008-03-31T21:42:00.000-07:00

What tune do you hear when you are on hold with the Soft Bank Phone Company?

1. Chrysanthemum, a Japanese classic

2. Home on the Range

3. Yellow Submarine, by the Beatles

If you guessed "Home on the Range," you are correct...

What tune are likely to hear in a souvenir shop at the great Asakusa Temple in July?

1. Silent Night

2. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

3. Blue Danube Waltz

If you guessed "Silent Night," you are correct...

Half of the music I heard last week while wandering through stores was:

1. Classical

2. Country Western

3. Hip Hop

If you guessed "County Western," you are correct.

(PS: I see a lot of pointy toed cowboy boots here.)

The Big Bug Store (Parental Viewing Discretion Advised), The "Blue Plate" Special, and The 007 "Gold" Facials

2008-03-31T20:29:00.000-07:00

THIS IS NOT A BUG YOU WANT YOUR CHILDREN TO SEE: IT WILL EITHER GIVE THEM NIGHTMARES..... OR THEY WILL WANT ONE FOR CHRISTMAS

I stumbled upon this store while exploring Odaiba, a leisure and business complex that was built across Tokyo Bay from my apartment. It is a man-made island built on more than 1,000 acres of landfill. That's a lot of garbage.

Anyway, I had just visited Little Hong Kong on the 6th. and 7th. floors of the Island Mall. Little Hong Kong, is a restaurant area built to look like the old red-light district in Hong Kong. It has great Cantonese and Dim Sum. For those of you that are unfamiliar with Dim Sum, a cart is usually brought around so that you may choose small tastes of all kinds of food. In this restaurant, patrons sit at a counter and the ledge above the counter rotates. You just grab what looks good as it moves past you - but beware - you can run up a big bill because everything looks good. The price of the dish is determined by the color of the plate that the food is on. Unfortunately, I liked the "blue plate" specials and they were the most expensive.

After my revolving lunch, I did some more brousing in the Island Mall. Ladies you are going to love this. There were two whole floors dedicated to "beautification" techniques from all over the world...Japanese, Chinese, Thai, French, Swiss, Israeli, Hawaiian, Romanian and more... When I have time, I'm going back for the "gold" treatment. It's sort of like what they did to James Bond's girlfriend in "Goldfinger." They cover you with GOLD. Apparently you won't die of "skin suffocation" like Bond's girlfriend did. The gold somehow irritates the skin, no kidding, and causes you to produce skin cells at a much higher rate. I'm sure no one will recognize me when I return...

Opps, almost forgot. For the kids out there, there were two floors of indoor entertainment. There were several catgegories: The Muscle Park (to test your muscles, DUH), The Brain Park (to test your brain, DUH), and the Twin Park (which allowed you and your friends to compete, Double DUH). I watched the action for a while. It was a bit like going to an orchestrated birthday party...the Japanese version of Chucky Cheese.

After this, I think I entered a Stephen King novel. I stumbled into the bug store. This was a place filled with beetles only found in your worst nightmares. It was so awful that it was fascinating - so I spent a long time in the store - watching the owner "prepare" the growing medium for the baby bugs. The main bug featured in the store was the Hercules Beetle (Dynastes Hercules for the entomologists out there). They are really strong bugs in case you didn't get the clue from their name. They are also the longest living beetle in the world (6 to 12 months) which really isn't very long in pet years but is great for the store owner. Once you are hooked on these little pets, you have to get a new one every few months. There was even a Japanese BBC documentary about these beetles featuring information by Japan's leading Hercules Beetle expert, Kojima. To see the Hercules beetle in action, click on the attached link ....

http://video.aol.com/video-detail/zoo-logic--hercules-beetle/1954334111

Back to Kojima, the beetle expert... I hate to break the bad news, but, like your mother said, "Just because someone is smart, it doesn't mean they're smart," or something like that.... There is a fascinating Associated Press article (Aug 20, 2007) about the capture of Kojima by the US Fish & Wildlife Agency. Apparently, Kojima was a notorious smuggler of rare bugs and butterflies from all over the world. They tracked him for years but were never able to nab him till now. For a thrilling story that will make you want to be a Fish and Wildlife Agent instead of joining the French Foreign Legion, go to the link below.

http://www.hawkowlsnest.com/2007/09/notorious-butterfly-smuggler-netted.html

As if my day could not have gotten better, after leaving the nightmare bug shop, I ended up at a haunted house. It was based upon the Japanese horror movie "The Ring." I decided to save that experience for when my daughters visit Tokyo. I need someone to lead me through while I keep my eyes closed.

GO: A Mental Torture Worse Than Sudoko

2008-03-21T03:39:00.000-07:00

"Go" can mean several things in Japanese. "Go" is the number "5" in the Japanese language. "Go" is also the name of a traditional board game ...

Today I learned to play "Go." It is a bit disconcerting because the board is divided into squares like a chess / checker board ... but instead of playing inside the squares, you place your pieces on the places where the lines cross. The object of the game is to control as many of those intersections as possible. The game was played by the samurai to teach strategy as well as to size up the strategy and personality of the other samurai.

The least experienced player uses the black stones and the more experienced player uses the white stones. At the end of the game, I had 56 corners and my opponent had 59 - so she won. She said that, according to how I played the game, she could tell I was a very calm and intelligent opponent. Of course, I was just sitting there calmly while she told me where to place the stones... which of course, shows great intelligence to act dumb and let her play my pieces...??? Apparently, there is going to be a big "GO" championship in Spain this summer....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsElvaoWcyw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NyllVL9fpe0&feature=related

Half-time Show, Unicycles and Plastic Tube Sword Fights

2008-03-21T03:18:00.000-07:00

I pass the local elementary & middle school playground while on my way to the subway. I am always curious about what the students are doing. Usually, they are arranged in a very large group and are performing elaborate exercise routines to music .... better than a Superbowl half-time show... each of the different age groups have different colored caps and the colors ebb and flow as each group blends with the other. Apparently at the end of the school year there is a grand finale performance by the students for the teachers and parents. It's pretty amazing to see them practice. The students are quite focused and I have yet to see any student misbehave in any way....

Sometimes there are unicycles all over the playground for the students to ride...

And, at other times, there are long plastic tubes that the students used in what look like choreographed sword fights...

Motorcycle Specialist

2008-03-21T03:12:00.000-07:00

At the grocery store near me there is an employee who speaks English. He is the guy to go to when you need help finding a product. His real love though is riding motorcycles...but he doesn't just ride motorcycles....he teaches people how to ride motorcycles through rubble after an earthquake...and, when there is an earthquake anywhere in Japan, he leaves his job at the grocercy store to go help by rubble-riding....

"Research Institute of Controlling Flow Movement"

2008-03-21T03:06:00.001-07:00

This is the English wording on the sign of the ballroom dance studio near my apartment...

Paying those pesky bills - You know how your mother said "Never send cash in the mail?"

2008-03-21T02:47:00.000-07:00

No Checks !

No Credit Cards !

When my rent is due, I go to my bank and make a cash wire transfer into the account of my landlord....

When my gas/electric/water is due, I go to the AM PM convenience store and pay in cold hard cash....

To make other payments, I go to the Post Office, put my cash in a "special" envelope that has some origami type folds that are glued shut and initialed by me. It's then tossed into the pile with all the other "special" cash envelopes - wow, piles and piles of cash and everybody knows which envelope you've put it in ...

When shopping or eating out - often no credit cards or checks - ATM machines everywhere but many times they don't seem to take American cards - that's because you are probably trying to insert the card as shown by the illustration on the machine. Just insert the card in as many possible directions imaginable - sometimes that does it...

Who You Gonna Call?

2008-03-21T02:31:00.000-07:00

Bought a new sofa? Don't have a car? Can't carry it home on the subway? Who you gonna call?

Mama Black Cat of course...the logo says it all...a mama black cat with a kitten in her mouth. They have trucks for the big items and motorcycles for the small items. You can usually see their banner flying at the local AM PM convenience stores.

Computer Goes Beserk and Sidelines Blog

2008-03-21T02:26:00.000-07:00

Evil computer virus has been erradicated and TexZen is back in business....

Fake Zebra Escapes From Tokyo Zoo

2008-02-21T10:17:00.000-08:00

Feb. 20 - An escapee zebra, albeit a papier-mache one, runs around a Tokyo zoo charging and kicking zookeepers during an earthquake drill.

Alarms were raised at Tokyo's Ueno Zoo after a papier-mache zebra broke free from its pen and injured two zookeepers and a visitor in this simulated escape.

A total of 150 zoo workers, policemen and ambulance crew played their part in capturing the wayward zebra.

http://www.reuters.com/news/video/videoStory?videoId=76526

Reply to "Curious in Colleyville"

2007-12-07T18:39:00.000-08:00

One of our esteemed readers (Anonymous) has posted a question regarding my status as a Ninja. Now, as I have already explained, Ninja's are supposed to be like secret agents. If I told you I was a Ninja, it would not be a secret anymore. I will tell you this much. Someone that looks a lot like me will be touring the USA in the Spring and teaching several ancient Ninja skills. The first class will include the Kuji-in "nine finger cuts" to use while driving in freeway traffic. The second will go into the mind control and meditation techniques that allow Ninja to nap with eyes open while answering boring questions from people who want to know about Ninjas. The third class is a big-time secret and will be revealed only while under the influence of Sake as the sun rises over Mt. Fuji. Of course, the date of the Mt. Fuji class is a secret too, so we don't anticipate a big rush to sign up. I hope this answers your question "Anonymous."

Recruiting Mt. Fuji Climb Team

2007-12-07T18:21:00.000-08:00

I'm giving you fair warning ... July & August are miserably hot in Tokyo; but, it is the only time of year that one can climb Mt. Fuji. I am putting together a Mt. Fuji climb team. I hear that grandmothers and children make the climb... Of course, maybe they start out as children and are grandmothers when they finish it. I also hear that it takes about 10 hours and it is best done at night so that one can be on the top for sunrise. Maybe I should clarify these rumors before we start climbing. But, just in case, start training now and join the team ... a free shot of Sake for all team participants that make it to the top .... A very expensive medical evacuation helicopter ride for those that don't make it. For further details, send your inquiries to barbarasmith@austin.rr.com

Forget the Year Party

2007-12-07T03:00:00.000-08:00

So you've had a bad year????? The Japanese solution at the end of the year is to have something called a "Forget the Year Party." I personally think this is a great idea. I will be in Austin to see family and friends so will miss the festivities here in Tokyo. I guess that means I have no excuse to drink myself into forgetfullness....

"Ask a Ninja" Chosen by Forbes as One of the Top UTube sites

2007-11-30T22:04:00.001-08:00

I'M SURE THIS SITE HAS EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT NINJA'S

#1 THIS ONE ANSWERS THE QUESTION AS TO WHETHER A NINJA CAN BE KILLED

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IR68W56DCBU&feature=related

#2 THIS ONE ANSWERS THE QUESTION AS TO WHETHER A NINJA CAN CATCH A COLD

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kO_u-knoehM&feature=related

BOTH ARE VERY SILLY....

...

1 COMMENT:
Anonymous said...
Now it's all making sense! You are a Ninja! How long have you been a Ninja and does your family know?
-Curious in Colleyville

.

The Ninja Restaurant:

2007-11-27T20:29:00.001-08:00

If your only reference to Ninjas was when you saw "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles," then you will need to be brought up to speed to fully appreciate our evening.

The black-robed, black-hooded Ninja is the martial arts version of the CIA and Spiderman. The origin of the Ninjas is hotly debated but some say they were "so-called rebels favoring Buddhism who fled into the mountains near Kyoto as early as the 7th. century A.D." They were organized into highly secretive groups that were structured around particular families, with their techniques passed down within that family. Ninjas relied on stealth tactics and some fairly gymnastic martial arts moves to fight larger groups of well-armed enemies. They also used some "magical" tricks to play with the enemy's mind as well as make a quick escape.

When we stepped through the door of the Ninja restaurant, we found ourselves in a small black room. A Ninja met us and made the appropriate Ninja mudra to welcome us. The mudras are called Kuji-in or 9 finger "cuts." These are special hand positions that the Ninjas use to focus their mind and activate their Ninja power. Our guide was really "activated." We then proceeded through a hidden door to reach what I call "Ninjaville." To get there, we followed our Ninja through a black passageway, down a series of steps, and at one point a draw-bridge dropped down to allow us to cross a "river." This was sort of like going through the fun house at the circus - not very convincing but fun nonetheless. Once we had crossed the bridge, we found ourselves in a small Ninja village. The individual "houses" were where the diners were seated - and of course, everything was dim, black and made of wood, bamboo, and stone. Our "house" had 2 small tables and a lily pond with water flowing through bamboo spigots.

The menu was elaborate - according to one source, there are over 100 dish choices. I didn't count.

I started off with a special apertif called "The Cleopatra." It was a tiny drink that had what looked to be real "gold" flakes on the top. It was supposed to contain a beautifing collagen ingredient from bird's nests. I feel SO Pretty!!!!

For the meal, I chose a "set," which has the many courses listed below. Greg chose safety in a steak ... and the show began...

All of the courses were teeny-tiny and served to be shared - with only about 2 bites in every course...

Course 1: Shuriken shaped crackers. The Shuriken was a flat
metal, star-shaped ninja weapon.
Shuriken were designed to hit the enemy then bounce off.
The enemy then assumed he was stabbed by an unseen opponent,
thus the Ninja reputation for invisibility. They make tasty crackers,
especially when combined with Course #2.

Course 2: A tiny little square white thing that had the consistency of Tofu but was
not....

Course 3: A little drum shaped pastry, called a "Ninja Jack-in-the-Box" that had
to be broken open with chosticks. It seemed to have some sort of salad
with fish eggs inside.

Course 4: A prickly, Conch-type shell. The Ninjas were known for their use of gun
powder and the Conch shell had a fuse coming out of it. Unfortunately
for the little critter inside, our Ninja lit the fuse. The
ensuing table fireworks cooked the shellfish and we promptly ate him.

Course 5: A tiny shot glass on a scale-type contraption. The shot glass was on one
end of the scale and a ball of ice was on the other end. The ball of ice
changed colors - from red to green and back again. I still don't know
exactly what was in the shot glass - I was told it was some
sort of liquid cabbage concoction.

Course 6: Soup. The Ninja brought a large, lidded bamboo steamer to the
table. She stuffed it with various greens and a slice of meat. Then she
dropped a VERY hot rock into the steamer.
The soup cooked in only a few minutes. Yum.

Course 7: A piece of ice candy to clear our palates - tasted like frozen grapefruit
popcicle.

Course 8: Tempura, the little fried vegetables that Japan is so well known for.

Course 9: Greg's steak came out at this point....Oh my goodness...I have NEVER
tasted such a tender piece of meat - all 4 bites of it.

Course 10: A little dish with some sort of veal casserole - another delicious
4 bites.

Course 11: Sushi rolls made with raw fish and shrimp

Course 12: Dessert - sort of a jello consistency with cream poured over it
and two TEENY TINY red berries on the top

Course 13: Tea

Course 14: Entertainment!!!! But first a little background on Ninja techniques:

The Ninja utilized a variety of weapons and tricks - especially those using gunpowder. Smoke bombs and firecrackers were widely used to aid in escape or create a diversion for an attack. They also used small "bombs" known as "eye closers." These were filled with sand and sometimes metal dust. This sand would be encased in hollowed eggs and thrown at someone, the shell would crack, and the assailant would be blinded.

A very creative form of trickery involved the use of Ashiaro which were wooden pads attached to the ninja's tabi (thick socks with a separate "toe" for the big toe). The ashiaro would be carved to look like an animal's paw, or a child's foot, allowing the Ninja to leave misleading trails for trackers.

Then there was the small ring worn on a Ninja's finger called a shobo. In hand-to- hand combat, the shobo, which had a small notch of wood on it, would be used to hit assailant's pressure points. It could even cause temporary paralysis - sort of a Ninja version of Dr. Spock's "Startreck Vulcan neck grab."

...Back to the entertainment course...We had our very own Ninja magician who did some really "cheesey" magic tricks and ended with a failed card trick. When he was not able to "guess" our chosen card, he suddenly pulled out his Ninja knife to commit "hari-kari," the ritual Japanese suicide. Luckily for all of us, it was a collapsing knife. That could have ruined a very wonderful dinner.

My interest in the Ninjas has definitely been piqued....I could use some of their disappearing techniques ...and all those firework distractors and the leaving of fake footprints could have helped while raising children. When I return to Austin, I envision teaching a Community College class entitled "Ninja Parenting & Stealth Tactics."

Star Wars Storm Trooper Dancing in Tokyo

2007-11-22T23:25:00.000-08:00

http://starwars.yahoo.com/videos/dancing-stormtrooper-version-1

Don't you just love it how everyone runs when the stop light changes....enjoy

Japanese Marriage Proposal: Click on the Cartoon to Enlarge It for Reading

2007-11-19T18:00:00.001-08:00

I have been trying to figure out what is going on between Japanese men and Japanese women...I'm wondering how close to the truth this cartoon is....

Don't forget to click on the cartoon to enlarge it for reading....

I'm Getting a Little Concerned About Our Heating Bill

2007-11-18T03:14:00.000-08:00

Went to Jusco this week and they had set up a new display...There were tables with blankets on them - and I'm talking about tables with down comforters - not just a long tablecloth...Looks like you sit down and sort of "tuck yourself in." Does that just mean that it gets cold here - or does that mean it gets cold here AND it costs too much to keep your mansion heated???

Kabuki Theater: We Need This For Our Political Campaigns: Or, The Japanese Opera and Heavy Metal Have a Lot in Common

2007-11-13T17:34:00.000-08:00

It was a bit rainy on Saturday and the "Dancing Elvises" were not in front of the park, so what's a girl to do???? Go KABUKI!!!!

I went over to Kabuki-za, Tokyo's premiere Kabuki Theater, for performance of this traditional artform. Apparently, these things go on for hours. Thankfully, they are broken up into small plays for folks that don't have a day and evening to spend at Kabuki. I bought a ticket for a 1 1/2 hour set and went and "set" myself down.

My first impression of Kabuki was that "Someone has slammed the cat's tail in the door. Please put that cat out of its misery..." And, to make matters worse,the howling cat is accompanied by a guy on an out of tune metal-stringed guitar that can only play 3 notes.....Help!!!! I've still got an hour and 29 minutes to go!!!!

OK, that is probably what some folks say about Opera and probably what our parents said about Heavy Metal rock concerts. So I slapped myself on the face a few times and decided to see what was really happening on stage....

Kabuki was, of course, developed before the days of microphones. The characters depend upon other measures to get their point across to the audience. First of all, they have perfected the art of make-up. The faces have a white base of rice powder with greatly exaggerated, colorful facial expressions (Think of "Kiss," live in concert.) The colors used give a clue as to the role of the actor. Red is for passion, heroism, and other positve traits. Blue or black represent villainy, jealousy, and bad guys. Green is supernatural and purple is for nobility. The other clue to the personaliy is his "mie," a pose that a particular actor assumes to establish his character. (If you are on Interstate 35 and see someone flipping other drivers off, that is probably his "mie.") In addition, the acting is melodramatic to the extreme. There is no problem figuring out who's who.

The Kabuki that I attended was the story of a shy artist who was going to have to commit Hari-Kari (suicide) because he was such a failure. He is fortunately, or unfortunately, married to a VERY talkative wife who goes to plead his case before the local nobility (think Purple Face). Alas, there is no hope. He's just a lousy artist. At that point there is a great dance number performed by a character with a sword, representing the artist's upcoming demise. He was dancing in cotton shoes so there was a musician on the side who hit a board on the stage - to mimic the sound of the dancer's steps on the road. This was very cool.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch ... there has been a lot happening on the stage itself. The Japanese high-tech stages date back to the 18th. century and are quite elaborate. From the set, there are walkways that extend out into the audience - for dramatic entrances and exits. There are also trap doors, revolving sets, and wires - in the event that someone needs to fly (Mary Martin in Peter Pan probably got her idea from Kabuki). There are also these little mime-guys in black who are supposed to be invisible. They come out and move things; but, their most important job takes place when an actor suddenly unmasks his true personality. They rush out on stage and change the actors costume to match the new personality revelation.

But I digress ... back to the story.... When faced with his death, the artist becomes inspired (some of us only perform under stress). He creates a work of art that brings everyone on stage to tears. There is LOTS of crying and sobbing going on. In fact, this crying and sobbing goes on and on and on. Maybe they forgot their lines or something. For the grand finale, the little mime-guys dressed in black come out and change the artist's costume - for the artist is now transformed by his brush with death and his talent is finally recognized. This was true drama, the story of us all - we're not quite good enough - but death is facing us so we scurry to produce our artwork - and rejoice at our ultimate triumph when little mime-guys come to change our clothes in public. I'm not sure how that last part fits in....

All in all, it was a most interesting afternoon and, despite my tongue in cheek comments, I was extremely impressed with the talent of the actors, dancers, and musicians. Even in a foreign language the passion of the story rang true.

Most importantly, after meditating upon the nature of Kabuki, I was suddenly struck with a GREAT idea for applying Kabuki theater in the USA. This would be a terrific format for Presidential Election Debates! Candidates would be required to have their faces painted so that we could have color-coded clues about their personalities and true agendas. The trap doors would help us drop pesky people from the debate floor. And, best of all, we would have the little mime-guys in black rush out and change the candidates clothes when their true natures begin to show. Because some of the candidates might be changing clothes as often as a 98 pound model in a Paris fashion show, it could be very entertaining. I'll guarantee that the American public would tune-in enmasse for the Kabuki Kampaigns. Let's go KABUKI!!!

Ki-iki-jutsu: "The Breath of Life" or Stopping a Heart Attack With Your Hands

2007-11-05T09:42:00.000-08:00

According to the little known Asian health practice called Ki-iki-jutsu, which means "breath of life," you can stop a heart attack by placing your right fingertips on the person's fifth thoracic vertebra (midway between the most prominent parts of the shoulder blades on the back) and, with your left hand, hold the little finger of the person's left hand. They say it takes 2 - 4 minutes for results. I hope you never need to do this but, if it works, it will be time well spent while you wait for the ambulance to arrive.

This Japanese food looks AWFUL but ...

2007-11-04T06:43:00.000-08:00

So why aren't we all eatting this????? Well, duh, it looks AWFUL.... What are those stringy, gooey things anyway??? This supposedly tastes like cheese but I have avoided it like the plague. I guess I'll have to try it now....

A researcher at University of Chicago's Medical School has discovered that a traditional Japanese dish made from fermented soybeans, called NATTO, dissolves blood clots with no side effects. It stimulates your body to produce more of its own clot-dissolving plasmin. It lowers blood pressure and unlike Coumadin, won't make your blood too thin, no matter how much of it you eat.....

World's Top 10 Most Livable Cities by the International Herald Tribune

2007-11-04T05:48:00.000-08:00

Tokyo wins the TOP place for a BIG city and the # 4 place overall. Here's what they said:

"Integrated transport, breathtaking technology, great service, & the best bars make this our top big city. The real Tokyo for the most part confounds expectations. Visitors are rarely prepared for the other side of the city, so unlike its raucous alter ego: The quietness of the subway, the peaceful residential streets, the old-fashionedness of the place."

I would have to agree with the above. I was totally unprepared for the quiet, peaceful atmosphere and lovely people that are so patient with foreigners.

A Little Swaying Going On

2007-10-07T07:29:00.000-07:00

Another Earthquake....not in Tokyo but we felt it a little

Don't Drink the Water and Read the Prayer Boards: What to do at a Shinto Shrine

2007-10-07T05:54:00.000-07:00

I have been to several Shinto Shrines. The first time I was by myself. When I entered through the gate, there was a beautiful stone well of water, carved with fabulous twisting dragons, and with what looked like a little drinking cup resting on the side. It was SO hot and miserable and the water looked SO cool and inviting and there was no one around...sooooo, I almost took a quick sip. I am sooooo happy I did not take that sip. Apparently, there is a purification protocol to follow upon entering a Shinto shrine....

I learned the proper protocol later with a tour group, while visiting one of the major Shinto shrines in Japan.

There were three gates at this shrine. Passing through the first gate rids one of evil spirits (which is the evil within oneself).

Passing through the second gate is for purification - And this is where the beautiful stone well of water is positioned. To properly purify oneself, you pick up the little cup and pour water over your left hand, then pour water over your right hand, then pour water INTO your left hand, then drink the water from your left hand - BUT don't swallow it - just swish it around and then spit it into the designated spitting place...and don't miss.

Now that you are purified you can enter the actual shrine by passing under the third gate.

Once inside, there are several rituals to choose from. You can pay a few yen and write your prayers on a little board. It is then hung up on a wall for all to see. There were some great prayers - the usual requests for millions of dollars, for Ferraris, and for true or not-so-true love - but my favorite was "To heal Pam's heart."

Just beyond the prayer wall was the actual shrine. After approaching the shrine, you clap 3 times, throw your offering of coins into a grilled area, then clap 3 more times..... and that's all there is to it ....

The main lesson I learned from visiting Shinto shrines is "when you're in a foreign country, don't drink the water till you see what the natives do with it..."

... Of course, this protocol does not explain what Shintoism is...and it is a very important concept for understanding all that is Japanese....

Shinto is the native religion of Japan. It's ways of thinking are deep in the subconscious fabric of Japanese society. The emphasis is placed on fitting into this world - Fitting into your group is VERY important in Japan. You do not want to be the "nail that sticks up" because you will be hammered down. Shinto has no absolute commandments for its adherents outside of living "a simple and harmonious life with nature and people."

1. Tradition and the family: The family is seen as the main mechanism by which traditions are preserved. Their main celebrations relate to birth and marriage. By the way, they are REALLY into the big, white Western style wedding dresses here.

2. Love of nature: Nature is sacred; to be in contact with nature is to be close to the kami - thus the beautiful Japanese gardens.

3. Physical cleanliness: Followers of Shinto take baths, wash their hands, and rinse out their mouths often - The bath is one of the most essential rituals of the Japanese - that's why I have that button in my kitchen to fill up my bath tub while I cook dinner.

JAPANESE RELIGION AND PHILOSOPHY...TO BE CONTINUED

Making Rice Balls With the Franciscans

2007-10-07T05:13:00.000-07:00

In the heart of Tokyo Mid-Town, just blocks away from the Ritz Carlton Hotel is a Franciscan Monastery. This week I showed up for one of their Rice Ball making sessions. Hundreds of these Rice Balls are made to be given to the homeless that sleep in the nearby subways. It's quite an operation. Every day a group of people show up at the Franciscan kitchen to help. The sticky rice has been made the night before. We are each given a rice mold which has 4 triangular cut-outs in it. Water is smeared all over the inside of the mold so that the sticky rice won't "sticky" to the sides of the mold. The rice is squashed into the mold and of course you try to squash as much as possible into the mold so that it will hold it's shape. The person that eats it will get more rice that way also. After sufficient squashing, we poke our finger into the middle of the Rice Ball and put a beautiful red plum into the hole - they look like cherries to me.

The group that I worked with were very interesting and quite nice. There were the wives of some Disney Tokyo consultants, the wife of an Otis Elevator executive, a chef from the Ritz Carlton, and I can't remember the info on the other women - at that point, I had to pay attention to my Rice Ball making ... Afterwards, all decided Starbucks was in order - with further discussion on thoughts about living in Tokyo. One woman was pregnant with her first child - due in a month. The big discussion was how she would get to the hospital when her labor begins. It was decided that the subway would be faster than a taxi. I'll let you know what happens....

Salt - The Newest Trend in Seasoning

2007-10-04T03:47:00.000-07:00

Decided to head over to Roppongi on Sunday and do some exploring. Roppongi is where all the Ex-Patriots and Westerners hang out. It is a very nice part of town and many of the Embassies are located in the surrounding area. They also have some great international grocery stores - the international versions of Whole Foods.

I had a very short shopping list. In fact, only one item. I needed Salt. How hard could this be???? Very hard. There were 60 different types of salt - believe me, I counted them all. There was Jurassic Salt, Sicilain Salt, Italian Salt, French Salt, Alpen Salz, Moon Salt, Bonin Salt, Sel Marin de Guerand, Liquid Salt Water, Black Salt, Green Tea Salt, Homemade Pinkish Salt, Pahar Rock Salt, Himalayan Salt, and on and on. I chose Pahar Rock Salt because it was such a pretty pink color with cute black speckles. It's probably best that I don't know what the cute black speckles are....

After the "Salt Escapade," I had to re-energize with some food tasting. The problem with food tasting in a store like this is that there is no way to politely choke and spit the food out. The Japanese have NO trash cans anywhere. It's either down the throat or into your purse. You cannot believe the things that I swallowed with a smile.

Food Winners and Loosers of the Week - Who Says Fish Bait Doesn't Go on Salad?

2007-10-04T03:22:00.000-07:00

Looser:

We ended up in a restaurant with no English spoken and no pictures on menus. When in doubt, the "Special" is usually a good choice. This time it was not a good choice. A beautiful plate was placed before us. It had a baked potato-sized lump covered with with a light pink icing sort of "stuff" and lightly sprinkled with bright red fish eggs - this was not in the caviar category - this was in the fish bait category. The fish bait tasted just like fish bait. The icing "stuff" had a soy flavor - not too bad....and underneath were avocados - not too bad....but underneath that was raw, ground meat... who knows what kind of meat it was. I tasted it and Greg actually ate it. This leads me to believe that there is good reason that women live longer than men.

Sort of Looser:

After the raw meat, this looked good. The salad was beautiful. It had teeny, tiny little red fish eggs all over the top. They still tasted like fish bait.

Looser:

Freshness Burger. A really bad hamburger at the Japanese version of a fast food restaurant. The restaurant is called "Freshness Burger" also. There is a reason McDonalds is doing so well here and it is because of Freshness Burger.

Sort of Winner:

Amino Supli. As you can tell by the name of this drink, Amino Supli, the Japanese love to add "English" names to things. Who knows what Amino Supli means but it sounds good. It even tasted pretty good. It was a watered down grapefruit, orange, lemon type canned drink. I would buy it again.

Winner:

Anna Miller's American Style Pies. This was a Pennsylvania Dutch restaurant with the Amish style logo of "Cookin' Lasts, Kissin' Don't" on their cute take-away boxes. This place gets a 3 YUM rating (YUM, YUM, YUM).

Hazukashi: I'm so embarassed...

2007-10-04T02:53:00.000-07:00

"Hazukashi" is a great word to know. It means "I'm so embarassed." Little children often say it when their parents try to make them speak in English to foreigners. Parents are the same everywhere aren't they????

It is also a great word to know when one is trying to get away from a street hawker and one finds herself (in this case "me")in the middle of a busy intersection - crowds of people on one side of the street, crowds of people on the other side of the street - all patiently waiting for the light to change - and trying to ignore the crazy woman who is out in the middle of the street holding up traffic. At the same time all the taxis and cars are patiently - and QUIETLY - waiting for the crazy woman to get out of the middle of the street - no one honks or screams. If I would have known how to say "Hazukashi" it could have helped to fill the silence.

Another time that "Hazukashi" would have come in handy was when I nearly tripped the blind man who was trying to get onto the train. He put his cane right between my feet. It was all I could do to keep from falling out onto him. I was not sure what the penalty would be for "blind man tripping" and did not want to find out.

Though I have heard negative comments regarding Japanese services for the handicapped, they seem to go to great lengths to assist the disabled in getting through the mass transit maze. All of the walkways have patterned strips of bumps on the flooring that lead to entrys and exits - as well as to boarding areas for the trains. Somehow I'm always on the wrong side of the bumps... Even more imaginative are the sound systems at the boarding areas. Each station has it's very own tune that plays when the trains are coming and going. The tunes sound like a cross between a Christmas music box and the a Merry-go-round at the circus - very happy, sweet notes. Believe it or not you can hear these little songs because Japan is a very quiet place. This is a land of introverts who place the highest priority on "not disturbing your neighbors." Everyone sits on the train very quietly. Cell phone use in public places is frowned upon and there are recordings to remind you of this. Instant messaging is the norm here - too bad I can't figure my phone out. When I hear my phone ringing in my purse, I look around and act like it must belong to someone else....Hazukashi....

Eyeball, Bowel, & Taiwan Foot Reflexology Massage

2007-09-30T16:55:00.000-07:00

While out wandering, I found a shop that offered Eyeball, Bowel, & Taiwan Foot Reflexology Massage....How could I pass that up....

The foot massage was pleasant but rather intense. First they soaked my feet in a hot water machine for 5 minutes. That felt luxurious. Then the massage itself began. It consisted of finding the acupuncture points on the feet and pressing them REALLY hard. You can tell which ones need working on because they are the ones that REALLY hurt. She would press points and then, when I jumped, she would concentrate on the point that caused me to jump. She worked on my heart, kidneys, digestion, legs and feet (since I had a broken ankle last spring), as well as my brain (do I seem less demented now????). When it was over, I felt great - but maybe that was because she was not squeezing the spots on my feet anymore.

Then came the Eyeball Massage. That was supposed to be for vision as well as the face and head. It felt very weird. I was hoping that she would not pop my eyeballs out of their sockets. She said when she worked on my eyes that she could feel that I had a lot of Ki (the Japanese word for Qi - or Chi - which in Chinese Medicine means energy) and she wondered if I had been doing something to build Ki. Any of you that have HAD to hear me talk about my Qigong studies will know that, yes, I have been working to build my Qi for years. I was so glad to know she could "feel the Qi." The other alternative is that maybe the Qi from the eyes develops when you become a "mother." You mothers out there know just what I am talking about - when your husband or children are not behaving, there is "The Look." "The Look" can instantly locate it's prey in a room full of people and is capable of traveling thousands of miles through cell phones - not to mention what it can accomplish via email. "The Look" is a mommy version of Kung Fu.

Last but not least came the Bowel Massage which involved kneading all of the organs of the stomach - a bit like what the Chinese call Twai Na. She said that my stomach seemed to have trouble "heating up" (well "duh" - ice cream and beer are served cold) and therefore I seem to have sluggish digestion. That must be why I have that extra waistline padding.

She said maybe I need a few more sessions and gave me a "frequent buyer card." When I have ten sessions, I get 2500 Yen of free sessions. What a good deal - the "good deal" must be ingrained in the human DNA - even on the other side of the world, people love a bargain.

Saturday Night Fever Japanese Style or Billy Bob's Tokyo Rodeo

2007-09-20T18:31:00.000-07:00

This is a very popular exercise machine. It can be found in any department store and there are always people in line to test it out. People take this machine quite seriously. They put their feet in the stirups and go through all the usual horseback riding paces - trot, canter, gallop. It's quite hysterical but the brochure says that it will help your golf and tennis game - so they sell a lot of them. As a pilates afficianado, I would say it probably helps to strengthen your core...For those of you that had deprived childhoods and never got to ride the bucking bronco outside the grocery store - here's your chance. Someday I'm going to have to saddle up and show them how it's done....Yeeehaw!

News from Japan

2007-09-16T15:33:00.001-07:00

Japan's Prime Minister Shinzo Abe resigned.

The world's oldest man who is Japanese celebrated his 112th birthday.

Commuters were delayed on their way to work when a man accused of being a
"groper" jumped down onto the tracks during rush hour.

"Little Bit Bad Boy"

2007-09-01T07:36:00.000-07:00

Learning a foreign language can be a tedious and lengthy task - and unfortunately, the language books never have the really helpful phrases. While I am laboring over "Nice to meet you," Greg, ever the pragmatist, has leapt ahead to the important stuff - like "choi wa ru." This is apparently a phrase taken from a crazy and popular TV show. It means "little bit bad boy." "Now really," I said to myself, "when can that phrase be of much help?" Well.....

Greg has become very popular at the hotel snack shop....when he goes in to buy beer and candy, he smiles at the check-out girls and says "Choi wa ru." They love him!!!

Alright, but when will I ever use that phrase? Well ......

A few days later, I am having a wild cab ride to Jusco. Suddenly the driver slams on the brakes and begins to apologize..."Sorry, policeman there." With my new found language skills I smartly retort...."Choi wa ru - Little Bit Bad Boy!" The cab driver is still laughing hysterically when he drops me off 10 minutes later....hmmmm, I wonder what I really said!?

Put Your Prom Gloves On and Watch Out For the Guys With Missing Fingers

2007-08-31T22:04:00.000-07:00

It is hotter than hell in Tokyo during the summer. I am so happy I got a perm before arriving - that way I look like a drowned poodle instead of a drowned rat. This summer broke the all time records with a heat index of 114 degrees and a real temperature of 104 degrees. There is a reason all those ancient Japanese paintings show the lovely ladies with their rice paper parasols and fans. They probably had handkerchiefs stuffed up their big sleeves too.

When you are a visitor to Tokyo in the summer, it takes only a few days to realize that umbrellas and fans are not just for impressing the tourists. I now have my sun umbrella, my rain umbrella, 2 fans, and 4 beautifully colored Japanese handkerchiefs (which are really sweat rags). Even the men carry fans - one of the most popular is a freebie from SoftBank phones. The serious sun-avoiders wear the old 1960's style prom gloves - to keep from getting a tan on their arms. They cut the fingers off the gloves so that they can ride their bikes without slipping.

Speaking of "missing fingers" ... If you work for the Japanese Mafia and make a mistake, your punishment is to have part of a finger cut off. If you make another mistake, they cut more of your finger off, and so forth. Eventually, if you are really dumb and make a lot of mistakes, you just end up in the bay with cement shoes. So, if you see guys walking around with missing fingers, just remember that they probably received "B's" and "C's in Mafia 101.

PS: So far I have lost 2 umbrellas.

The Japanese Mansion of 57 Buttons

2007-08-31T06:00:00.000-07:00

Lunch in the Mansion

View from the Mansion of 57 Buttons:

We are now in an apartment - called a Japanese "Mansion" - about 60 square meters - smaller than my daughter's college apartment. It has traditional sliding doors (Made of opaque plastic rather than rice paper these days) to separate the sleeping area from the living/dining room. We are sleeping traditional Japanese style - on futons on the floor - till we can figure out if there is a bed for a 6 ft tall American that can fit into the room - I'm not optimistic.

I've decided that the reason all those Asians do so well in school is because of the set up in their apartments. There are 57 control "buttons" in our apartment - almost one per square meter. I am about brain dead from trying to turn on the lights. My TV remote control back home is child's play compared to this. They include a control in the kitchen to automatically fill my bath at a certain time of day and to set my preferred bath water temperature... My washer/dryer plays a tune by Bach to tell me when it's finished the cycle... And there is a woman who speaks to us in the bathroom to tell us that the hot water is turned on. Greg is still trying to figure out where she is hiding.

The "Mansion" is in the Shinegawa area of Tokyo - to be close to Haneda Airport for Greg's work. We have a few pilot friends but most other residents in the area are Japanese with little English spoken. There is a park across the street with a Tokyo version of Austin's 360 Bridge - an arched pedestrian walkway over to Tokyo's World Trade Center area.

Unfortunately, our internet service is not working and our phones are local. Japanese holiday and vacation month is in August so no one is available to set up communications for us ..... It is a very strange feeling to be so cut off from everyone - I'm so used to instant email or phone. I have to take a cab some distance to get to an internet cafe or pay phone for now.

The "Mother of All Parties" at "The Good Chicken" Restaurant

2007-08-31T04:43:00.000-07:00

In celebration of Greg's new Captain position, his Japanese and American cohorts meet for a party. (It is customary for the Japanese men to go out drinking together after work or to celebrate work milestones.) Along with the male compatriots, we are joined by Sarah, a young American woman that helps to translate and manage the ANK office. We are also joined by our daughters, Adrienne and Reagan, who are visiting us in Tokyo. In their words - and they should know a good party because they are such devoted college students - "That was the BEST party we have EVER been to..." (PS: Sarah took Adrienne and Reagan out to experience "Roppongi," the Tokyo nightlife the night before).

Here is the set up....We take a number of trains to get to who knows where in Tokyo and end up in a maze of little narrow streets. We then proceed to drink hot Sake and beer while we wait inside a tiny restaurant with about 4 tables and no one that speaks English. Keep in mind that I am with "the super-models." Adrienne and Reagan, as you know, are quite tall and blond and stand out wherever we are.... Greg eventually shows up with Seto, from ANK, and we follow them to a door that looks rather non-descript. We go inside and up a steep stairway. It feels like we have stepped into a Shogun movie. The decor is very beautiful ... rough, simple, natural stone and smooth wood. Of course we take our shoes off. We are escorted into a private room with a big rectangular hole in the floor and sliding doors. The table is set down into this hole and we are seated around it on cushions. Then the eating and drinking begins...

We soon find out why the restaurant is called "The Good Chicken." We eat every part of the chicken except the feathers, beak, and the feet for dinner. Two especially interesting chicken parts are the cartilage and the skin. In the US (when you buy a chicken breast with the bone in) it often has the rubbery, pointed cartilage still attached. In Japan, this part of the chicken is considered to be very tasty and good for the skin. It is sliced up into pieces and put on a skewer with bits of chicken in between ... very crunchy. Then there is the chicken skin which is brought out to us in a large, thin sheet. You hit the center of it with your chopsticks and it breaks into pieces that look a lot like tortilla chips ... also very crunchy. I am trying to figure out how all these Japanese people stay so skinny. There is NO low fat food here and lots of fried food. All meat is served with skin and fat ... and they eat the skin and the fat. There is no such thing as a boneless, skinless chicken breast in any restaurant or in any grocery store. The meal goes on forever with lots of courses and lots of alcohol.

About half-way through the meal we notice that the waiters always know when to bring in the next course. There is a big "game-show" sized button in the middle of the table that we can press whenever we need more alcohol but we have not had to press it yet. Then our Japanese hosts point out the fact that there is a hidden camera up in the corner of the room. We all begin to make faces and gestures at the camera and, sure enough, a waiter shows up immediately.

By now, we have imbibed enough Sake to loosen the tongue. This is also part of the typical Japanese celebration...the emotional speeches. Every person gives a speech -including Adrienne, Reagan, and I. At this point, "Bobby" calls. He is working and unable to attend the festivities. Adrienne, Reagan, and I are all asked to speak to "Bobby." Poor "Bobby." There is nothing worse than talking on the phone to a bunch of inebriated people that think they are funny. Then everyone uses their cell phones to take pictures of everyone and we use our digital cameras.

Ishi decides to tell my fortune - to see whether I will have a happy life. I hold my hands out and he puts charcoal on the top of my hands. If the charcoal goes through to the palm of my hand, I will be happy. Somehow the charcoal ends up in the palm of my hand and we all sigh with relief...I will be happy. Then Ishi does chopstick tricks for all of us.

At this point, Greg leaves to try to pay the bill before the Japanese can get to it. He wants to give it as a thank you gift for the support and encouragement they have given him during his transition to Japan. They, on the other hand, are very stressed about this and a cultural argument ensues. From their point of view, it is insulting for Greg to pay. Sarah negotiates a compromise - and when Greg finally accepts cash from them, everyone yells "Roppongi!" intimating that we now have enough cash for another wild night on the town... but really, there is nothing that can top the evening we have just had at "The Good Chicken."

Welcome to ANK and the Ironies of Life

2007-08-31T04:38:00.000-07:00

Greg is now a Captain for the Japanese airline, ANK. The ironies of life never cease as we have just observed the anniversaries of the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki ..... and the Japanese celebrate their annual August vacation season and fly to Hawaii by the hoardes.

Big 5% Sale at Jusco

2007-08-19T04:29:00.000-07:00

August 19: Big 5% Sale at Jusco Department Store.

I am shopping for essentials for our apartment. I can only buy things that have pictures on the label. I never realized how hard it is to be illiterate. I can't tell if I'm buying salad dressing or dish soap.

PS: I can't believe it. The Halloween decorations went on display today.

997 Earthquakes to Go

2007-08-17T21:50:00.001-07:00

Just counting the earthquakes that I notice..... out of the 1000 earthquakes a year, I've got 3 down and 997 to go.

Incredibly Strange Japanese Inventions Sent to Me By Blog Reader Bill Chancellor

2007-08-17T20:43:00.000-07:00

Match the picture to the invention ....

Standing Aid for Sleeping Commuters; No More Runny Noses; Get Rid of Your Butter Knives Forever; You Won't Get Splashed by Passing Cars; Eye Dropper for Dummies; Noodle Cooler....

Pushers, Sleepers, and Gropers

2007-08-16T01:18:00.000-07:00

The Famous Bullet Train

The train is essential for travel in Tokyo. Here are some tips that can make it a more pleasant experience.

Tip A: Don't take the train when it is crowded.

OK, let's get real, the train is always crowded.

Tip B: Beware of Pushers, Sleepers, & Gropers

1. PUSHERS are the people whose are hired to squash more people into the train. The train is properly packed if (a) You cannot read a book because you can't turn the pages (b) You cannot itch your itchy place (c) You can sleep standing up.

2. SLEEPERS are everywhere on the trains. There is even a book about how to assess the seated Sleepers on the train - so that you can be in position to nab their seat when they reach their stop.

Some of the book's general guidelines are:
(1) If the head is down and they are drooling, they are not near their stop.
(2) If the head is back with open mouth, they are not near their stop.
(3) If they are looking straight ahead with eyes closed, they could be getting close.
(4) If they begin to straighten their hair, they are very close.
(5) If they begin text messaging after sleeping, they are very close.
(6) If you can, listen to their conversations - maybe they will mention their stop.

Once you have found a potential "Seat-Leaver" stand very close to the person but position yourself in a place that does not block their exit. At the same time, position yourself to block other "Seat-Grabbers" who want to get to the seat before you. Move quickly as they stand up to further block the seat.

Sometimes SLEEPERS don't wake up till the end of the train line - either because they are sound asleep or because they are drunk. If it is late at night, the only way home is by taxi and that can be very expensive. To accomodate these wandering carousers, the Japanese have come up with pay-by-the-hour "Capsule Hotels." Imagine a giant Tylenol PM capsule. Now imagine crawling inside of it. I have been assured that they are very clean and comfortable. Somehow though, when I think of people sleeping in capsules, I am reminded of very cheesy Sci-Fi movies with the Queen Bee waiting for the lavae to hatch from the hive.

3. Last, but not least, are the GROPERS. The trains can be so packed that it is very easy to "accidentally" grope unmentionable body parts of fellow passengers. This phenomena has gotten so out of hand (no pun intended) that, during rush hour, there are separate train cars available for women only. The men like this as much as the women because, unfortunately, there are unscrupulous people who are in need of a little extra cash. It takes several people to set up this scam. First, the young woman yells "wolf." Then her companions back up her accusations and threaten to turn the so-called Grouper in - unless he pays them for their silence. You get the picture...To combat this, you will see men traveling with their hands up or crossed over their chests - and all this time I thought it was some esoteric Eastern meditation pose....

998 Earthquakes To Go and Wardrobe Malfunctions

2007-08-16T00:24:00.000-07:00

Picture in Motion...

There are 1000 earthquakes each year in Japan. We just had two today. Greg and I woke at about 4 am and realized that the pictures and light fixtures in our room were swinging back and forth. It's a little like being at sea - except that your're on the 11th. floor of a hotel instead of a cruise boat. All of the hotel rooms here are equipped with flashlights ... now we know why. Once I figured out how to turn on our flashlight, and we had called to alert Adrienne and Reagan (who were sleeping in the room across the hall), I began to try to convince my family that they should assess their wardrobe choices carefully before going back to sleep - "Greg, those shorts are totally unacceptable," and "Girls, do you really want to run screaming out into the street and be photographed by a BBC reporter in those clothes?" Sort of gives a new meaning to the words "I wouldn't be caught dead in that outfit."

Not Exactly Lost In Translation ... How About Enhanced in Translation

2007-08-07T19:30:00.000-07:00

Two translation enhancements that I have run across....

By the Americans:
Town of Fukuoka is often misprounounced as Fuk U O K ???

Misprint in Flight Manual:
Take-off preparations "1. Cock in place"

McDonalds Part I: You Deserve a Break Today...................................................... and McDonald's Part II: SuAnne Big Crow & Geronimo

2007-08-07T15:52:00.000-07:00

SuAnne Big Crow & Geronimo

Sometimes when you are in a foreign country, you need a break. You need a break because:

1. You have not been able to get in or out of a door for the entire day without two or three tries - Is this a push, pull, tap, hit, bang, kick, or "minor explosive needed" door-opening device ?????

2. You urgently need a ladies room and you open the door to find a ceramic hole in the floor - and you really don't have the time to figure out what you're supposed to do next.

3. You have been playing Japanese Roulette at the restaurants one too many times and ended up with a plate of crispy baby sea-creatures that are looking up at you with their sad little eyes...

4. You went through the Exit at the train station and some big gate thumped you across the kneecaps. You made it through anyway - and nobody caught you - but there was all that adrenalin rush and fear - like what if I can't get back out of here because I've gone in the wrong way without a ticket...I can see the headlines now..."Texas Cowgirl Arrested for Gate Crashing: She Must Be Attached to the US Diplomatic Corps"

5. You need a break because you are not used to "thinking" so much. Do realize how much of our day revolves around auto-pilot????? There is no auto-pilot in a foreign country....

That's when the little jingle goes off in your head...."You deserve a break today at McDONALD'S !!!!!!" OK, I know this is bad - I've been here barely a week and I'm hiding out in my sunglasses behind a book at McDonald's - hoping that I don't see anyone I know - no joke, that would be just my luck - here I am ready to bite into a Big Mac and someone says "Aren't you Greg Smith's wife??? " Of course they'll tell him later - "I saw your wife at McDonald's today." That's as bad as having the Donut man know your name.....

McDonalds Part II: SuAnne Big Crow & Geronimo

(PS - As I told Dwooley, this excerpt actually relates to the birds and shops I have seen in Tokyo - I promise I will warn you if I start copying chapters of War & Peace for your entertainment)

Anyway, I work through my anxiety attack about being discovered at McDonald's and begin to read my book. (That is the other way to get a break in a foreign country...read a book that has nothing to do with that country - or so you think at the time - I am finding that everything is related.) I am reading "On the Rez" by Ian Frazier, who was the author of the National Bestseller "Great Plains." For you "Honkies" out there (or "Gaijin," as the Japanese would say)"Rez" is short for "Reservation."

I am reading the chapter about SuAnne Big Crow, a high school girl from the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation in South Dakota, who was a basketball phenomenon in the late 1980's. Here is her tear-jerker of a story with excerpts from Frazier's book. I have left the name of the South Dakota city out of the story - I have good a good friend in SD and want to keep her - you hear that Rita?)

"In the fall of 1988, the Pine Ridge Lady Thorpes went to (-----)to play a basketball game. SuAnne was a full member of the team by then. She was a freshman, fourteen years old. Getting ready in the locker room, the Pine Ridge girls could hear the din from some of the fans. They were yelling fake-Indian war cries...As the team waited in the hallway leading from the locker room, the heckling got louder. A typical kind of hollered remark was 'Squaw!' or 'Where's the cheese?' (The joke being that if Indians were lining up, it must be to get commodity cheese); Usually the Thorpes lined up for their entry more or less according to height, which meant that senior Doni De Cory, one of the tallest, went first. Today no one remembers exactly what was said but Doni looked out the door and told her teammates, "I can't handle this." SuAnne quickly offered to go first. She was so eager that Doni became suspicious. 'Don't embarrass us." SuAnne said, 'I won't embarrass you.' Doni gave her the ball.

SuAnne went running onto the court dribbling the basketball, with her teammates running behind. On the court, the noise was deafeningly loud. SuAnne went right down the middle; but instead of running a full lap, she suddenly stopped when she got to center court. Her teammates were taken by surprise, and some bumped into one another. SuAnne turned to Doni and tossed her the ball. Then she stepped into the jump-ball circle at center court. She unbuttoned her warm-up jacket, took it off, draped it over her shoulders, and began to do the Lakota shawl dance. SuAnne knew all the traditional dances, and the dance she chose was a young woman's dance - graceful and modest and show-offy all at the same time. And then she started to sing in Lakota, swaying back and forth in the jump-ball circle, doing the shawl dance, using her warm-up jacket for a shawl. The crowd went completely silent. 'All that stuff the fans were yelling - it was like she reversed it somehow,' a team-mate said. In the sudden quiet, all you could hear was her Lakota song. SuAnne stood up, dropped her jacket, took the ball from Doni, and ran a lap around the court, dribbling expertly and fast. The fans began to cheer and applaud."

"In an ancient sense which her Oglala kin could recognize, SuAnne counted coup on the hecklers...'It was funny,' Doni De Cory said, 'but after that game, the relationship between (----) and us was tremendous....Later, when we went to a tournament and (----) was there, we hung out with the (----) girls and ate pizza with them. We got to know some of their parents, too. What SuAnne did made a big impression and changed the whole situation...."

In later years, SuAnne went on to lead her girls' basketball team to win a state championship. (When interviewed by a reporter, with her usual sense of good humor, SuAnne quipped that the story needed to be titled "Tragedy at Sioux Falls" ... a tongue-in-cheek reference to Tom Brokaw's recent bleak reservation story called "Tragedy at Pine Ridge" that somehow missed any reference to the good things happening on the reservation.) SuAnne was chosen to be part of the National Indian Basketball Team and performed in the USA, Europe, and Australia... She was an excellent student with scholarships to top schools across the US. Unfortunately for all of us, in February of her Senior year, SuAnne died, reservation-style, in a car accident. She and her mother were on their way to Huron, South Dakota, for the Miss Basketball award banquet. The award is the state's most prestigious for girls' basketball, and SuAnne was one of the nominees.

SuAnne's vision was to go to college and return to Pine Ridge to help her people. She had often talked of an ideal place she called Happytown - where kids could go and hang out and have fun and not get in trouble. In the year following her death, her mother, along with support from the tribe and private contributors, established the Big Crow Center which is now affiliated with the Boys' and Girls' Clubs of America - the first chartered on a reservation.

"To count coup means to touch an armed enemy in full possession of his powers. The touch is not a blow, and only serves to indicate how close to the enemy you came. Counting coup was an act of almost abstract courage, of pure playfulness taken to the most daring extreme. There's magic in what SuAnne did, along with the promise that public acts of courage are still alive out there somewhere..."

...Now flash back to the fact that I am reading this to you from McDonald's in Tokyo and I am trying to keep from bawling - because there are NO pigeons here in this part of Tokyo - I am surrounded by BIG BLACK CROWS - SuAnne Big Crow has counted coup here in Tokyo today - I get up, walk back toward my hotel, window shopping along the way - and there is a Geronimo T-shirt in the window.....

Counting Coup:
US = McDonalds & CocaCola
Japan = Toyota & Sony

Icky what????

2007-08-02T15:43:00.000-07:00

Imagine a flower pot shaped like an alien space ship - then have the aliens hanging out the windows of the space ship waving at all the folks in Roswell - and you have a very unique flower arrangement - or what the Japanese call the art of Ikebana.

Yesterday I took a one hour train/subway ride to the Institute for Ikebana. Getting there was sort of like tryiing to find Area 55 (or whatever that top secret testing ground out in Nevada is called).

This is how Ikebana classes work. First you take a number, then you inspect the rows of flowers, sticks, and branches that are available for the day's class. Whoever gets # 1 gets first pick - if you get a high number, you have to be really creative because you're going to end up with some weird combinations. There are mainly housewives in the class and this is what they do instead of drink coffee and play bridge - so they all know each other. Just add the margaritas and it would be the St. Michael's mom volunteers...

Back to Ikebana: It starts out with a demonstration by THE MASTER (who is a woman). Each class has a theme - I never could figure out what it was. THE MASTER puts a big, black, pyramid shaped vase on the demonstration table and, with a theatric flourish, inserts ONE huge flower into it. Then she chooses someone from the audience to come up in front of the class and choose a second plant stem to add to hers....This is really high drama folks .....The person in the hot-spot chooses from a huge array of options, then carefully snips and bends their choice and places it into the vase with THE MASTER's stem. THEN they are given a microphone and have to explain the emotions and feelings that they wanted to portray in the Ikebana....it is better than Doctor Phil...Thank goodness they did not call on me. I just felt like throwing up - I think I had heat stroke from the train/subway ride in the 99 per cent humidity.

Now if that was not enough, the next thing on the agenda was that we got to arrange our own flowers. I had a teacher to help me because I had never done Ikebana before. I did pretty good - especially since she did most of it for me...The next part of the class was fun. We all wandered around and looked at everyone else's arrangements. All I can say is WOW. I have never seen so many beautiful flower arrangements. They were breathtaking.

Just when I thought it was safe to get back in the water - THE MASTER shark comes back. The grand finale of the afternoon is just getting started. THE MASTER will now inspect each arrangement and offer her personal critique of the work. One very nervous girl that I met was being tested that day on her Ikebana. (In Ikebana, there are levels - like in Karate). She said she was hopeful she would pass because THE MASTER seemed to be in a good mood. Anyway, the students follow THE MASTER around and congregate around the arrangement to be critiqued. THE MASTER pulls off a leaf, moves a branch here and there, and everyone "oooo's and aaaa's." What is amazing is that THE MASTER is right - it really makes a difference. When THE MASTER came to mine she took pity on me, snipped a few leaves, moved a branch, and said something nice - she probably knew her assistant did all of the work for me - and she didn't want to loose a good assistant. I got my First Belt in Ikebana - a little sheet with a red stamp on it - I can now defend myself against muggers with a sunflower stem.

Texas Tornado Tussles with Tokyo Typhoon or How to Flush a Japanese Toilet

2007-07-30T15:07:00.000-07:00

I knew I was in for trouble when I tried to use the toilet in my hotel room. It has 7 (SEVEN!!!!!!!) different buttons - including heating and deoderant features. It also has 3 (THREE!!!) cautions marked with big XXX"s - I guess that means I'm using a Triple X-rated toilet. One of the 3 X's cautions me of danger of electrocution and instant death if I get water on the controls - that is one way to get people to not miss the toilet.... Thank goodness there is an emergency phone in the bathroom.... The toilets are made by a company called "Toto" (We''re not in Kansas anymore, Toto)

Dedication

2007-07-11T12:12:00.001-07:00

Everything worth reading always has a dedication - so here goes:

I dedicate this blog to all my relatives and friends out there that will take the time to read my Tex/Jap blog .... I also dedicate these exciting chapters to my two daughters .... but the real dedication goes to my husband who has coerced me into taking this journey with him.